By: orphan_account
(2013-08-25/2013-09-24)
Chapter 8
Friday, December 27th, 2013 (continued)
The letter comes out easily enough. One page, back and front. Lauren watches as Camila's eyes scan the page and read line by line. She waits, anxiously as Camila's tears begin to fall again.
"Camz?" Lauren says once Camila places the letter back down and the sobs wracking her body take over.
Camila doesn't reply right away, instead she turns so that her face is tucked into Lauren's neck and tears strike Lauren's own skin and burns like nothing the older girl has ever felt before.
She wraps her arms tightly around Camila and hopes that this is enough. She hopes that she can provide whatever Camila needs in this moment because she just wants to be here and not make this into something it doesn't need to be. Camila trusts her and she doesn't feel like it's a heavy burden, she feels like it's light and fleeting and she wants to make sure it doesn't leave.
Camila shuts her eyes tight and attempts to make the tears stop because she doesn't want to cry anymore. She doesn't want to cry and feel like she's vulnerable, but she knows that the walls she's built around herself aren't needed anymore----It's not rational, the younger girl understands that much.
She's only known Lauren for a few months, and this is their first amount (second day) of being together. She wants to say that the distance has made the bond genuine due to the lack of actual contact, but her brain isn't functioning to it's fullest extent. All she knows is that Lauren's arms feel a lot like the wall she's torn down to let Lauren in. Does that mean Lauren's now her protector? No. She wants to say no.
Lauren's not her protector. Camila isn't vulnerable. She is not the kind of girl who needs saving. Lauren's there for her. Camila can be her own knight, her own prince, her own savior, but Lauren's like the castle. Lauren's strong and resilient and dependable. She could live inside the castle forever and be okay.
The Miami native recognizes the tears have calmed and she can't help but wonder what exactly made it better, she hopes it's her, but as she's about to say something Camila's leaning back to look into her eyes, head resting on the pillow, hair splayed messily.
There's a silence that hangs in the air almost comfortably. Lauren dares not break it for fear that she'll shatter it. Her hand goes up and she removes a stray strand of hair that's fallen over Camila's right eye. She brushes her thumb over the girl's cheek as to blaze a trail with it through the delicate ones left by the tears.
She wants to say something, but she doesn't feel like anything she can say would be enough, but she also knows that she can't kiss Camila right now. She wants to more than anything, because to her, it's the ultimate sign of intimacy. She won't kiss Camila because right now, in that instance, there's a lot to think about. She doesn't want to completely siderail Camila's thoughts with her own need to feel Camila.
She doesn't want to be that girl that makes everything about themselves. God, she may not have been in a serious relationship before, but she knows by her nature that she falls fast and she falls deep. It's her character and Lauren doesn't need anyone to come along and prove that, but she has a feeling Camila already has.
"She said---" Camila sighs out, noticing Lauren's dazed look, attempting to recapture her attention and let this all out. Because, once again, Camila's an intuitively a trusting person.
"She wrote that----" Camila stops again, trying to compose herself, but instead of doing that, she just hands over the letter. Lauren grasps it gingerly, trying not to frey the edges or crumple it up. It doesn't belong to her, she shouldn't do those things.
