By: jaureguibrooke
Nov. 1, 2013
Summary:
Sacrifice every part of my soul for her tonight, let her see all my marks upon my skin, make myself shameful, leave my own self for her, say I will never regret how beautiful you felt held in her arms.
Notes:
a/n: first im sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes i didn't proof read this. plus i apologize for this story because it just came to head this scenario and i just wrote it. thanks!
***
Sacrifice every part of my soul for her tonight, let her see all my marks upon my skin, make myself shameful, leave my own self for her, say I will never regret how beautiful you felt held in her arms. Is it so hard to say the same thing? Because you're so weak to say the same thing.
I will love you tonight. I promised, I will love you forever and you believed in those words during our precious time, because tomorrow you won't care. That's exactly how you want. I am supposed give it all to you, to lure you I'm any way possible and you would never care. You've got your mind wrapped around an insane idea of love, although you've never cherished any kind of affection before. But that's how you are, and maybe I want you.
You dictate the rules for our love every time, you say falling is unacceptable. I am intoxicated with the words you whisper near my ear, praying that these silent promises mean you could love me back. Your hands explores every inch of my body like it's a secret, a secret you told me. You hold me like maybe I will break, but you still push me closer to you whenever I shudder from your skin touching mine. Most of the time your eyes are closed, almost like they could they me something I shouldn't know, but when they open, I break your rules: I fall for you. Your piercing green eyes stare deep into mine, I hope, I really do, that maybe you might love me back. No one can decode your emotions, sometimes I wonder how'd you drain all the soul from your eyes.
They say everything is a lie. "Actually, I prefer to think that I'm a liar in a way that's uniquely my own."
Was it a lie when you pushed me against the wall while your hands gripped firmly around my neck and your emotionless eyes burnt hole through my soul? It was pointless to ask you why. No one can love me like you effortlessly did.
Maybe it's today, a no particularly day for neither of us, that for once you could feel the same as me. I'm sat at my- our couch, since you've practically moved in here, waiting for you to come and please me. I doubt about your intentions today- last time wasn't the same, you were breathless and tired, I asked if you were fine and all you ever said to me was a simple 'yes'.
I let it all slip away when you open the door and walk in without bothering to say a single word to me. You say words mean too little when you let them out, so instead you let your head down so close to mine but not quite close enough for me. Your eyes flutter close and you let out a small breath. I should ask you what's wrong but you won't answer me, you never do. You are so exposed today you let your emotions for once show. When your eyes open again they aren't quite shiny as usual, they are glossy. Something about your green eyes turning red as your own strength fails to protect your sadness gives me courage enough to embrace you like maybe you love me too. Your head is resting below my neck and your breathing hits my naked collarbone as my body can't react to the though of feeling you against me so vulnerable.
Maybe it's the way I can feel your heat beating close to mine today, or maybe it's the way you put your hands around my neck again and your lips brush through mine not quite kissing me yet but just lingering there as I was yours that I broke your rules again, I fall for you.
Tonight you didn't answer my questions, you just showed me you belonged here. I feel my body start to heat up when your kisses aren't soft anymore, they become passionate.
You pulled away from my mouth but kept your eyes close and as out noses brushed against each other, I believed we were soulmates that time.
"Maybe I could love you one day, Camila."
Tonight you promised me you wouldn't leave me until it was morning, and maybe- just maybe, I saw your lips form a small smile when I said 'I love you' before drifting to sleep.
Because Lauren, I gave it all to you. My naked body shivers from your arms touching my exposed torso in a tight gap, to you it's just the same reacting I have around you, but it's the only time we can have each other; the time you have me. Tonight I'm right here, exposing every part of my body and soul for you to love me.
When my eyes open again I feel a strange warmth against my back and I know you kept your promise. Maybe- just maybe, it was worth sacrificing my love to you.
