By: malikjaureguis
2014-05-23
Summary:
You kiss Lauren and it tastes like you shouldn't. — camila/lauren. or, camila's first six kisses.
The thumping my chest
you leave these marks up on my neck
and it's still there - i know but i still check.
thump, thump, the thumping in my chest
as i lose the feeling in my fingertips.
— shiver shiver, walk the moon
one.
You kiss Normani when it's two o'clock in the morning, and you're lamenting on how the interviewer today just wouldn't let the topic of first kisses go. Normani shrugs when you start the conversation, but once you reach the point where you start to blame yourself for being a lip-virgin she scoots closer to you and threatens to slap such a stupid thought out of your head.
"Girl, you're gorgeous," she reassures you, with her fingers splayed across your back and dangerously close to toying with your hair, "The only reason you haven't had your first kiss yet is because you're too gorgeous. You just intimidate them boys too much." You giggle, somewhat forced, and it brushes past your lips faintly in the dark.
"Thanks, Manibear." You say this in a mock high-pitched tone, nuzzling her nose into the curve of Normani's neck, absorbing the smell of her and feeling the swell of gratitude in your chest that God has bestowed such a friend upon you.
Normani exhales something that sounds like a laugh, and the silence that then follows seems to be anticipating something, and you've watched enough romantic comedies with Normani to know what ought to come next.
"I wish I could just kind of get it over with?" You say this in the form of a question, and feel the uncomfortable shift of Normani's weight beneath you. "Like, just with someone who I don't like-like, but like love, you know? I don't know." You honestly don't know at this point; you're kind of just spouting things off at random, and where once you knew what you were trying to get at, now you're not so sure.
It's Normani who moves her shoulder out from under you, and you lift your gaze up, heart thudding, as she presses her lips against yours. It's not a romantic kiss, it's quick and gentle, so feather-light that you wonder if she even kissed you at all. You don't even have time to close your eyes for it before she's pulled away, and then, oh, boy, is it awkward.
"There you go." she says, smiling, throwing her hands up in the air like it doesn't even matter. You try not to stumble over the words building in your throat, try not to imagine all the scenarios this little kiss could lead to.
"Okay, then." you say, and as Normani lets you rest your head back in her shoulder, you still hope you don't encounter another interview with a first kiss question because you're not quite sure how to tell this story to them.
two.
You kiss Lauren and it tastes like you shouldn't.
It's after your set in St. Louis or Omaha or somewhere midwestern, when the sweat is making your already too-tight clothes stick to your skin and the crowd's noise still thrumming in your ears, making anything quieter than a scream fuzzy. Lauren's fingers find yours somewhere in the dark, but it's nothing unusual, not even the extra beat in your heart is unexpected. You've grown accustomed to feeling fizzy in your stomach when Lauren touches you, but you think nothing of it, because you think nothing will come of it anyway.
