Inside my mind

1.

At first, I was ecstatic. You liked me back. You told me you always had. I really thought things would be smooth and euphoric.
I mean we were healthy right?
Wrong. So very wrong.
We had healthy habits, did a few wholesome things, but that was short lived.
All because of me.
I let my problems ruin everything each time. I was and am too unstable for you. I've blocked out so many memories, so many conversations.
But you made sure we saved them all.
Why would you save them?
I find myself going through them, reminding myself that I was the downfall of the only reason I wanted to wake up everyday.
I was the downfall of the one thing that kept me going.
I was the downfall of the thing that i truly thought would bring me to true happiness.
Because i really thought you needed me so that you could keep going.
I mean you had even told me that.
But I think that's wrong now. Because you somehow still managed to move on.
At least you're doing okay right...?
- a