Conversations - TMPB series

Chapter 2

I always imagined this conversation in my head. A good communication is always the key to a successful relationship. Especially if you a headstrong Fox married to a worrywart Dragon. :p

The beautiful book cover credit goes to the rightful owner. 

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Ten Mile Peach Blossoms Orchard

Deep breaths... in and out. 

Normally the serenity and simply being in Zhe Yan's orchard would sooth her, but not today.

Bai Qian thoughts and heart was spinning with emotions and guilt. She knew she shouldn't have lashed out at Ye Hua like that. She can still remember the haunted pained look in his eyes, and it made her more guilty. But she couldn't help it. 

After learning the entire story from Third Prince Liansong ; it felt like history, ill-fated just like hers befell on her sweet little Jiu. She moaned and cursed fate for the sufferings. Why does it seem that Qingqiu foxes who loved always suffered? 

She sighed and leaned onto the trunk of her favorite tree. This tree was as old as her.  Zhe Yan planted it when she was born and it grew strong, withered anything and everything, looking majestic as always. She took deep breathes, smelling the sweet taste of peaches in the air. 

She felt rather than sense Ye Hua approach. She knew he wanted to talk but she simply couldn't face him yet. Not yet... 

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Ye Hua never felt this helpless in a long while. He always felt guilty and heartbroken for all the sufferings his Qian Qian endured during her mortal trial. He will never forget it and will always carry the guilt. Only now he realized that she too probably hasn't forgotten them.

Qian Qian never dwelled on the past; her thoughts and approach was always tuned towards the present and future. So he never got the inkling that she was still bothered or carried the pain of all that happened. But hearing her say those dreadful words.. he looked at her with a pained expression. Did seeing her niece go though similar trials bring back the old hurt and sadness? He didn't want to even think of the possibility but will his Qian Qian never forgive him ?

With such extreme thoughts swirling in his head, it took him a while to sense her gaze. He turned and saw that she too was looking at him with sad pitiful eyes.

"Ye Hua"... 

He was by her side in an instant.. crushing her with a hug so deep. "Qian Qian. I am sorry"

"No, It was my fault. I am sorry Ye Hua"

They didn't say anything for a while, simply held on.

Bai Qian broke the embrace and cradled her husbands face in her hands. She can see his pain radiating from his eyes. She hated the look and hated it even more since she put it there. 

"Ye Hua..I.."

"It's all my fault Qian Qian. I hurt you too deeply and I am sorry I didn't realize you were still pained by those memories" gasped Ye Hua his voice breaking almost to a sob.

She shook her head; her husband carried too much quilt. Even though she didn't relish dredging old wounds, she knew deep in her heart they had to face it... together finally.

"No Ye Hua.. it's not.. Please let me finish. I  have a lot to say."

He stilled, lip pressed in a thin line, but nodded.

She sat down resting her back to her tree and patted the ground next to her for him. As Ye Hua sat down she placed her head on his shoulder, feeling the quite yet strong love from him.

" I didn't realize I carried the pain still. But seeing Jiu like that.. it brought back those wounds. We can never truly understand the depth of what transpired during my trial. Maybe it was equally a trial for you as it was for me. I know if we turned back time; you would do things differently. But its done and bygone. What happened doesn't hurt me anymore."

"Then why did you..." he started but hesitated, not understanding where she was going.

"Why did I mention this now? It not what happened but what you did that bothered me truly and still does. Ye Hua you are truly very protective of me an A Li. But  this dire need to always keep us safe ;you hide things that's important"

"That's not true Qian Qian..I .."

"It is and you know it" She turned to him eyes fierce yet calm " If you could you would take all the burdens and suffering that comes our way and never let me know. Forget the trial. You hid from me the pain and suffering you went through when you got the Immortal Grass to save Shifu, with your plan in the Mermaid Clan war, during the battle with the Demon Lord. Even this incident, you were so adamant I not join in help sealing the Miaoyi Chasm poisons. If I didn't know better I would say you think less about me".

" No .. I..." 

Her gaze softened and she caressed his cheek, " I know the reasons. You carry too much guilt for what happened Ye Hua. It was ill fate. Yes it could have gotten better, but you are letting what happened dictate what you do today. It needs to stop." 

Ye Hua was silent, pondering over what she said. It true he carried way more guilt than necessary towards her, but she was right about his need to always keep her safe. He also knew it frustrated her but its something that came to him by instinct. 

" I always felt I wasnt worthy of you. I still do."  he admitted slowly.

Bai Qian's eyes widened, this was not what she was expecting from her ever confident husband.

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The drama and even the book  portrayed Ye Hua as a possessive man. Sure its an endearing trait but we all know that our determined fox would simply knock that behavior out. I am trying to make the character more soft, even a little human(with more maturity definitely) and I hope to do my best.  Thanks for reading. :)