What I Miss About You

You Are The Reason - Natalie

I felt reborn, raw, and new. I was reminded of Dr. Foster's words about debriding a festering wound and that it wasn't always a painless process, but it's always an essential one to healing. Dr. Heinrich's revelation to me, his words about my grandmother, and his own assertion of my character had caused a transformation come over me. I felt as if a blindfold been removed and I could finally see things clearly for the first time in my life. He became more than a great grandfather figure to me, he was my new family for all intents and purposes and I knew I would treasure him as such and never, ever forget what he had done for me.

Once we had composed ourselves, we strolled arm in arm through the gardens. I smiled blissfully hanging on to his arm and to every word he spoke. I spied Ben up the path ahead of us a little ways. He was talking on his phone, no doubt to Addison about the story. He didn't see us as he seemed to be fully absorbed in his conversation. Dr. Heinrich led me to a small circle of late-blooming rose bushes. Pulling a small pocket knife from his jacket, he swiftly bent and cut a perfect signal white rose for me.

I gasped in delight as he presented it to me. "You're certainly full of surprises, doctor," I laughed. I held the sweet, heavily scented blossom to my nose and inhaled deeply. "Mmm..." I murmured appreciatively.

In spite of the tears earlier, Dr. Heinrich grinned at me, his lovely sea-colored eyes brimming with happiness for the first time that day. "It's you, mein liebling, a perfect white rose."

I smiled up at him and blushed hiding my face in the gorgeous creamy white, velvety petals. "My goodness, doctor, no wonder you could have had your pic of the German debutantes!" I stared down at the graceful queen of flowers in my hand. "I'm far from perfect."

I suddenly bit my lip, worrying I had somehow said the wrong thing to him, but he merely laughed uproariously at my statement. He drew me closer to his side.

"May I say something to you, fraulein?" He tilted his head, indicating the direction of where we had seen Ben talking on his phone. "He is a very lucky fellow. I do hope he realizes it."

If I cheeks could have grown any pinker, I'm sure they would have. "I... I'm not sure what you mean..."

The doctor chuckled tenderly. "Forgive me if I speak of things which are none of my business, mein schatz, but you see you will forgive a very experienced, very old man for making an observation that should be obvious to anyone with two eyes!" He looked down at the roses as he folded and replaced his knife in his jacket pocket. "I recognize in him the feelings I once had for your angel great-grandmother. It's not that hard to see."

I didn't know what to say. I knew Ben wanted to try again, but I just wasn't sure he knew what he'd be getting himself into. I smiled at the doctor, shaking my head. "Dr. Heinrich, I don't know how aware you are of the...impact my parents' actions took on my life. I have...too many issues to seriously consider..."

"Mein schatz," Dr. Heinrich interrupted. "Why don't you talk to Dr. Foster tonight about it, hmm?"

I looked at him sharply. "How do you know about Dr. Foster?" Then I stared at him, realization dawning. "You're friends with her..."

He nodded. "I am. We were colleagues together back in Chicago for a short while; she was our resident psychiatrist and an amazing one too. It may have been unethical, but I wanted you to have the best. And she is the best."

I was stunned, shaking my head in amazing. All the years, I had been cared for and never knew it. "I wish..."

Dr. Heinrich stopped and looked down at me. "Yes?"

I met his eyes. "That I had known. About you." I sighed. "It would have made all the difference."

"I did what I thought best at the time. Just as I did when I was finally able to make it to America, one year after your great-grandmother." He paused. "I don't often second guess my decisions, but sometimes I wonder what might have been had I done things differently." He took my arm and we continued walking. "I was a fugitive from the Reich for many months while the world fell down around us in Germany. The Allies bombs, then finally the death of the Fuhrer. When I was found by a band of British Allies, I was taken to a prison. Treated humanely. For three months I gave them what intelligence I had, even volunteered my skills as a doctor. I think it helped that I had long since shed the SS uniform."