What I Miss About You

What Is Life - Ben and Natalie

Tell me, what is my life
Without your love?
Tell me, who am I
Without you by my side?

***

Natalie

"Third position..."

The small dancers imitated me, Miss Natalie as they called me, imperfectly but valiantly. I hid a tiny, amused smile at their attempts. Then I demonstrated perfectly and gave them an encouraging nod in the huge floor-to ceiling mirror that covered one wall of the ballroom.

"Fourth position."

The little dancers changed their position accordingly with more than a little wobbling.

"Annnnd...fifth position!"

Two of the girls lost their balance and nearly fell over, but managed to catch themselves just in time. I clapped my hands, turning around and beaming at my small students. 

"Excellent!" I praised them. "One minute water break."

I stooped to pick up my own water bottle and my assistant, Jessica, an eighteen year old Juilliard freshman, grinned at me, planted her hands on her slim hips and assumed first position naturally and gracefully. I sat cross legged on the worn, hardwood floor and she joined me. Together we watched as the little girls flocked to their parents who were sitting on the sidelines as it were, frothy pink tutus bobbing, tiny, lisping voices talking excitedly.

Jessica gave me a conspiratorial smile, her nose wrinkling as I checked my phone for the tenth time that morning. "Has he called yet?" she asked, leaning towards me and nudging me with her shoulder.

I smiled, my eyes downcast as I stared at the phone screen devoid of any new texts or missing calls. "No," I quietly replied, laying it down. "But it's Friday. He's just wrapping up his last class of the week and probably preparing his broadcast for tomorrow. They're playing Michigan, their arch rival. Big day." I looked at her, my smile growing as it always did when I talked about Ben.

She nodded knowingly. "My brother played for Syracuse. I get it."

We sat for another minute, until the flock of girls, aged five to seven, took up their positions once more at the mirrored barre. Jessica and I stood. 

"I just don't see how you've maintained this long distance relationship for nearly a year. It would drive me crazy!" she said in a stage whisper.

I reached out and touched her on the arm. "Believe me, it does," I whispered back. "But I think those days might be coming to an end soon." I gave her a wink. 

She raised her brows. "Oh?" she asked with a cheeky smirk.

I turned my attention to the waiting girls and clapped my hands. I would say no more on the subject and Jessica and I spent the next half hour correcting tiny, leather-slippered feet and arm positions while all the time I was nearly bubbling over with excitement for this weekend. Ben had no idea what awaited him...

I had found a publisher for my book detailing the lives of Dr. Dieter Heinrich and my great-grandmother, Ruth Calloman, "The Lioness" as she was known. Incidentally, that was also the name of the book. I could barely contain myself at the news but I couldn't wait to tell Ben at just the precise right moment. The now completed novel was slated to hit shelves in time for Christmas. I was also waiting for news of another kind...

As the parents and children shuffled out, wrapping coats and scarfs around tiny forms against the crisp, cool autumn air outside, I called out reminders to them about the Christmas recital and our upcoming school party. More than one mother hugged me and told me how much her daughter had learned from me in the few short weeks she'd been my student.