What I Miss About You

Opposites Attract - Natalie

I had wanted to take the cup from him in the elevator so bad. I'd had to ball my fists, let my fingernails bite into my palms to keep from reaching for it. Old habits die hard. Never mind. I'd go down to the coffee shop on the second floor...not many of our people ever went there. It wasn't trendy enough for them. I liked it for that very reason. I sank gratefully back down into my desk chair and closed my file on the senatorial race without saving it.

Time to do my research on Dr. Heinrich. I heard the elevator doors open and I concentrated even more heavily on my search even as the purposeful footsteps came closer and closer to my desk. I gritted my teeth and forced myself to read the small bio I had pulled up. 

Born in Magdeburg, German in 1913...father was an accountant to a government official and mother a primary school teacher....I immediately began typing notes on my tablet. I would do some research on the city of Magdeburg so that I would have plenty of questions to ask Dr. Heinrich about his upbringing. Vaguely I wondered if I would recall any of my college German and then huffed and shook my head as it would probably be completely unnecessary. Dr. Heinrich, after all, spoke perfectly good articulate English. With a heavy accent if I recalled correctly his one brief interview outside Columbia Presbyterian.

One of the plain white office mugs was suddenly set down with force on my desk and the sound made me jump. I looked up, startled to see Ben looming over me, his eyes on the thermos in his large hands as he unscrewed the lid. There was an unhappy crease between his brows and an errant strand of black hair fell forward into his eye as he spoke.

I felt my face flood with heat as I focused on his hands, unable to look up into his face. He knew how easily startled I was. Why did he...?

"Look, I'm not happy about this assignment either," he informed me as he poured steaming black gold from his thermos into the mug. "I don't know what Addison's thinking. But since we're being thrown together for the foreseeable future, maybe can we make the best of it?"

I was watched as he recapped the thermos and nudged the coffee mug towards me. I flicked my gaze back up to his. My heart seemed to shrink in on itself. Why was this happening? It was too raw, too soon. I never longed so much to go back to writing about the mud slinging and corruption of politics as I did in that moment. I watched the steam slowly curling from that innocuous white cup and I inhaled it like the ambrosia it was while a thousand splinters penetrated my heart. 

"I mean," he continued, "we're both professionals here. And we both know this is a big coup for the magazine so..."

I took a deep breath and reached for the cup. "I can be professional if you can. Thanks," I mumbled without looking at him.

Ben stood over me for a few moments longer and I could feel a hundred eyes on us but still, even as I took a deep sip and lowered the cup to the desk, I did not look at him. He took his sweet time replying as if it pained him. 

"You're welcome."

Then he turned and strode unhappily off to his office to no doubt clear his agenda for the next few days. I slumped in my chair and continued my research, ignoring the cautious glances of our co-workers and reaching now and then for Ben's peace offering and savoring its rich smoothness.

                                                                                         ***

My inheritance helped me go to college. My parents were rich, that much I knew. I never saw them much...I was mostly left to the care of dubious characters who knew little about responsibility and even less about children. One night, one of my caretakers shoved me into a crawl space in a dark closet for hours while men in dark suits raided my parents' bedroom. They didn't find anything...not even me. Nobody did until nearly fourteen hours later. The voices found me though.