10 Years

Luck is for Losers

Bey POV

Ever since Isaiah caught me and Kelly kissing, all he wants to do is ask me questions about it. I can tell he’s irritated that I haven't told him anything, but what am I supposed to say to him? The only explanation I have is the truth, and I don’t know how he’s gonna respond to it. If he’s gonna hate me for having an affair on his father; if he’s gonna thinks it’s disgusting...I just don’t know. What I do know is that I need to tell him something.

But before I do anything, I need to talk to my husband who is currently on the balcony smoking.

“Jay.” I said walking outside.

“What?”

“You remember when I got the kids early from school? A couple weeks ago…”

“Yea, what about it?”

“Well, I uh- called Kelly to check up on her and she said she was hungry. So Izzy drove to popeyes and we took the food to her.”

“Why you telling me this? You forgot your free popeyes gift card? She put a dent in your car or something?” He asked exhaling the smoke.

“No, nothing like that.”

“Then what is it?”

“When we were about to go I sent Izzy to get Isaiah from outside and I told them to go to the car. I was having a conversation so I didn’t realize that the only person who went to the car was Izzy. When I was saying bye to Kelly, we kind of got into the moment. I didn’t realize that Isaiah had came back in until he spoke.”

He let out a hearty laugh and shook his head. When he calmed down he inhaled the smoke and exhaled it out of his nose.

“Someone finally caught you making out with your girlfriend, huh?”

“Jay..”

“I’m not mad. I personally don’t care what you do no more. It just sucks that it had to be our son. How did he react to it?”

“He was calm. He was just confused, as am I. But he won’t stop asking me why we were kissing and I don’t know what to tell him.”

“Tell him what you told me.” he said.

“But I lied to you..you want me to lie to him too?” I asked.

“I don’t think you owe him an explanation, you’re an adult. If you want to tell him then you can but if not, don’t. All I know is that when you tell Isaiah it’s gonna become real.”

“What becomes real? What do you mean?”

“This whole Kelly thing, it means that it becomes real. If you tell Isaiah you’re gonna eventually have to tell Izzy. Then your mom, then your dad, then the rest of your family and friends, and lets not forget about your fans. It’s gonna be a ripple effect. There’s no way out of it.”

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you’re a fucking lesbian and you need to embrace it. If you want to tell people about you and Kelly then tell them. You don’t need my permission Beyoncé. I’m just telling you that it’s gonna be hard and people are going to be very judgemental.”

“Now you made me not want to do it.” I said rubbing my head.

“Come here.” He said grabbing my waist and pulling me close to him. “I love you.”

“I love you to JayJay.”

“I know you do. But you’re not in love with me and to be completely honest I don’t think you ever were. I’m just your cover up.”