fOoL fOr YoU (Zarry) *discontinued*

3.4

"sushi?"

zayn looks up at the sound of harry's voice. it's almost three am, everyone's asleep, except for zayn and harry. zayn smiles at harry, it's small, but it's there so harry takes it as a win. zayn hates sushi. like, really bad. he despises it so much. it feels weird and tastes even weirder. but some of his fondest memories of harry involve sushi dinners. so, well, he loves it.

he remembers last year, despite all their fights, harry had shown up on a saturday night, with a white bag in his hands and a sheepish smile on his face. they laughed so hard that night, harry snorted his drink out, all over their bed. they laughed even harder after that. and zayn remembers feeling drunk on the happiness of having harry with him. of not fighting or arguing.

he feels a bit sick now, remembering that night. he knows harry had been with kendall around that time. and he knows harry smelled of her that night. but still he chose to kiss harry in the hopes of making the taste of her lips fade.

it was stupid. so stupid. because zayn knew. or well he suspected it for the longest time, and he knows he should've done something sooner. left harry sooner. or force him to get his shit back together before it became a baggage of zayn's. but he didn't. he was so stupidly in love with harry, he let harry scar him, because anything was better than losing harry.

"yeah, alright," zayn says, nodding. putting his book away. harry grins triumphantly and sits down in front of zayn. harry takes the sushi out of the bag and places it in the middle, though they both know zayn won't eat it. "so what is this? some messed up way to woo me?"

"what? no," harry quickly denies. "i don't— i just— i just want to spend some time with you, i guess." harry's staring at the food instead of looking at zayn.

"so what? you buy us some food and just hope for the best?" zayn says. he's not trying to be mean or anything like that, but he's filled with so much anger and hurt, he can't help the snappy tone of his voice.

"it's just always been our thing," harry says. "we've cooked together, eaten steak at, like, four am, and i don't know... my favourite memories with you just involve food."

"yeah. 's what got me fat," zayn mumbles, just loud enough for harry to hear.

"no! that's not true. it's not right," harry disagrees. "you've never been fat, you dick. not once. you've never even had a belly. god, i used to envy you for it. you've always had a perfect body, z. so don't say stuff like that about yourself."

"what, it's okay for you to say it, but when i do it's not?" zayn retorts, leaning forward in a taunting manner. harry opens his mouth to defend himself, but zayn stops him. "leave it be. let's just eat."

so that's what they do. eat. or well, harry eats, while zayn picks a piece of sushi apart. occasionally taking a sip of harry's drink.

"s'it cause of me?" harry quietly asks. zayn tilts his head, not catching on. "the eating thing. is it because of me?"

"no," zayn sighs. "you said some messed up stuff, but it's not cause of you. it's a problem of my own."

"zayn—"

"hmm, y'know what," zayn yawns obnoxiously, "m'tired. so, i'm just gonna go to bed. and you can do whatever the fuck you want."

"zayn," harry tries again, standing up as well. he grabs zayn's wrist, forcing him to turn around. "don't go. we can sit in silence if you want."

"sit in silence and do what, haz? what will that do for us? silence is fucking overrated anyways. i'm fucking tired of them. there's so fucking much to say, so why the fuck would you want to sit in silence?" zayn asks, anger clouding his eyes.