Reincarnation Of Draupadi (Completed)

Ch 92: Karna's Love For Draupadi

The love of Karna and Draupadi was forbidden, love. And nobody ever knew if Draupadi and Karna loved each other or not. In history they did wrong to each other to a great extent – Draupadi insulting Karna at the Swayamvar and Karna turning a blind eye to Draupadi’s Bastraharan.

Note : This is purely my imagination. I referred the Karna's feeling for Draupadi from Sinjini Sengupta

When Krishna visited Karna and tried to reason with him. "As already revealed to you by your mother, you are the eldest of the Pandavas and as the eldest, And since Arjuna was asked by Kunti to share Draupadi with all his brothers, she is your wife too. Should you change sides, you will be the king of Indra-prastha and Draupadi will be your queen and the five Pandavas will serve you and Kunti will bless you." said Krishna

"I  humiliated her and called her an unchaste woman . As long as I live I can never forgive myself. I cannot understand what came over me. How could I have degraded myself so? It’s absolutely unforgivable. I can never face her, ever"

Krishna left after listening to Karna.

Karna thinks

" 'All this time, I told myself I hated her for humiliating me worse than anyone else has done. That I wanted revenge. But I was only fooling myself.

We have some uncanny similarities, don't we?
No one will ever know how I have always belonged to you, all my life and never really belonged to any of my brothers.

While it's your grace that you forgave, it's a disgrace that you didn't find your equal.
You got everything that I could also have had. And what I can never have. It Is You Who Defines Me The Most '

For one, our families are the same. The Pandavas. And neither of us ever belonged, in a real sense.

You married five but didn’t find one husband you could belong to, who you could both trust and love. I pity you that you could never stop loving Arjuna. Knowing well that neither did he love you back, nor did he deserve your love. And I pity you that you could never get yourself to love Bhima.

When Krishna offers you to me, I can claim you if I change sides with Pandavas. No one will ever know how I have always belonged to her, all my life and never really belonged to any of my brothers.

I want you to know this. I love you. For being yourself. For forgiving them, for they don’t know what they have done to you. For loving Arjuna, the worthiest enemy I could ever have. And so I love you all the more.

But I hate you too, Yajnaseni. For all the same reasons. For wasting your life. For compromising. For giving up so easily. For giving your virginity, first, to the cowardliest of the lot. For not giving a damn in being used. For not caring to seek what you were worthy of. How could you be so indifferent, Yajnaseni? How could you not feel a thing?

It’s a shame that there was not one single man who stood up and killed Duhshashan for touching you. I pity you that you couldn’t throw everything aside and come to me. Alone and fearless. Because you’ve known me deep inside. Known that you could come to me. Anytime.

We saw each other just twice in our lives. Once when you humiliated me at the Swayamvar, enough for me to wish to die. And once when I gave that right back to you. Not moving an inch but watching you being disrobed. Watching you look at me for help. That glance that only I understood. I’m glad you didn’t consider me to marry. I couldn’t bear living a life with you, to discover the reflection of each and every one of my vices and virtues in another body, another soul. “You are more myself than I am!” Because I don’t love myself, let me love you.

I couldn't protect you in this life. Let me protect you and be with you in the next life"