Fragmented ✔️

28. Frost in bloom

"I can't believe another man gave my girlfriend a ring for Christmas," Matt said, his voice dripping with humour while he played with the gold band on my right hand.

Over the last couple of days, I had a niggling feeling that I couldn't shift. I floated around the Dimous' party and listened to everyone having fun, but neither their words nor my thoughts fully registered. Matt tried his hardest to keep me from drifting off while I struggled to stay present in the moment. It was early Christmas morning, and that sensation hadn't shifted.

"Your girlfriend? I don't remember anyone asking me to be their girlfriend." The warmth from his bare torso radiated against my cheek as I lay against him. Even then, as I teased him, sadness edged into our playfulness, taking up a corner of my mind. Could a man that had already loved and lost be satisfied with a hollow shell?

"Oh, didn't I? I thought it was a given. I've called you my girlfriend before." His fingers intertwined with mine and he held our hands above my head as we watched the diamond glimmer with the morning light. "Surely you didn't think we were just buddies at this stage."

"Would still be nice to be asked." I turned onto my front and pressed my palms to his chest. His eyes darkened as I shifted over him, my legs settling on each side of his hips. "And you just wanted me for my body at first. What was it you thought would win me over? We should fuck again!" A low giggle spluttered from my mouth and I rested my forehead against his face. With his heavy exhale at my ear, goosebumps spread from my nape, down my shoulder. Cedar and mint consumed my senses and calmed my nerves, like a weighted blanket, shielding me from any oncoming storm.

His thumb stroked along my spine, sending ripples of awareness through me. "What a dick! Who even says that? But you still couldn't resist," he laughed and peppered delicate kisses over my cheeks, lips, and down my neck. His caress skimmed past my lower back, his hands finding my hip and angling me so I lost all my words. The softness of his touch wasn't enough. I wanted all of him, but would I give him all of me?

My thighs squeezed, wishing those hungry lips were on other parts of my body.

The laughter faded from his voice, and his movements stilled for a moment. "What d'ya say, Bea? Wanna be my girl? I'll keep doing this if you say yes."

"You called me Bea?" If I thought the feel of his fingers toying with my clit would be the reason the tension between my shoulder blades eased, I would be wrong. As that syllable fell from his mouth, a knot untangled. An expression of pure adoration took over his features, and I was all his. I was so focussed on forgetting that part of me, fearing I would be stuck living in the past that I punished myself by denying my old name.

"Yeah, that okay?" His hold moved to my hair as he tilted my face to his and gently rolled me onto my back. "I love that name. Zaire explained–"

"Shh," I said, placing a finger to his mouth, followed by a kiss. I had never realised how much I would need him to use that name until it tumbled from his full lips. "I love you saying it. Don't stop."

His mouth dropped to my jaw, down my neck until he reached the valley between my breasts. His fingertips lightly grazed past my ribcage, along my stomach, and nestled between my legs. I swallowed a moan as he brushed over my clit, stroking and teasing where I flushed with wet heat for him, and only him.

"Bea, is that a yes?"

"Yes," I murmured, holding my pillow to the side of my face as I attempted to muffle my whimpers.

The tugging in my lower belly intensified from simmering desire to a burning need for him. My legs shook, a coil tightening as I fell apart and shuddered under his hands.