Fragmented ✔️

20. Beautiful Chaos

That night, after our dinner, Matt drove me home and waited in my room while I amended one of the letters destined for Saffron's parents. Each letter I had previously written out was an apology for what I had done to their daughter. This one was a promise. A promise to keep Saffron alive through memories and the love I had for her.

They could hate me, they could refuse to listen. But they could no longer deny that she had been one of the most important people in my life, my best friend, my sister.

I sealed the envelope and sighed. The tension in my shoulders lessened with each word penned in black ink. They flowed from my heart onto the page; my own antidote to the heartbreak I carried.

"Hey, you okay?" Matt asked, resting his head on mine, his voice low. He massaged my shoulders, his thumbs pressing into my neck.

"Mmm-hmm," I moaned and leaned into him as he increased the pressure of his fingers.

"You've been staring at that envelope for ages now."

I spun the desk chair around and pulled him between my parted legs to hug him. He resumed my massage from his new angle. "Have I? Didn't notice," I mumbled against his shirt, closing my eyes. "That feels really nice. I could sleep right here." I nuzzled into him and wrapped my arms around his hips.

"Have to go home soon."

"Not yet."

"I have a class in the morning." His hands found their way into my hair and he tilted my head back to kiss me. "We have our session with Helen in the afternoon, so I'll pick you up for that?"

He kissed me again... and again... and again. Like a dance we no longer needed to practise, he picked me up and my legs made their way around his waist. My back hit my mattress moments later, and Matt's fingers clawed at the soft skin below my bra.

"I really should go," he whispered, tugging on my lip with his teeth.

"Okay." My voice cracked and disappeared as he breathed in my breaths. My skin tingled with him hovering over me, heating every part of me.

"Okay."

His mouth seized mine, hot and needy; his hips pressed hard into me. Cool air hit my skin when my top was lifted over my head and Matt's palm rested over my non-existent cleavage. He stroked, massaged and soothed every exposed part of me, his lips never leaving mine until they were moving across my jawline, down to my collarbone.

"Argh," he groaned into my neck and pulled away. "I don't wanna but have to." He tilted his head to the side and grinned, dragging his nails up and down my bare abdomen. "Plus, your parents are just downstairs."

I pushed myself up onto my elbows and stared at the door behind him. My chest heaved as I attempted to calm my pounding heart. "They won't hear you." And quite frankly, I didn't care if they did. Not at that moment. All I wanted was him.

"But they'll hear you." He smirked and handed my top back to me.

I strolled towards my mirror, covering myself back up so I could walk him out. The static from the fabric of my top made my flyaway hairs stick out all over the place. Matt laughed behind me and smoothed it down, kissed my shoulder when he was done and rested his chin on the same spot. He wrapped me in a tight hug and I couldn't look away from our reflection.

My poor heart stuttered. Why had I been so hesitant to let him in? This was easy. I could be happy with him if I just relaxed. I pressed my face into his and slid my hands up the arms he had fastened around my waist.

"I'll pick you up as soon as I finish, okay? We'll grab a sandwich from the coffee shop before it starts." His husky voice vibrated against my skin.

"Do you think we'll have time to drop that letter off to Saffron's house? Actually, I'll just go in the morning while you're in class," I backtracked on my question as soon as it left my mouth, too scared I was wasting his time.