Fragmented ✔️

32. Zaire

My pen flowed along each line as realisation hit. I couldn't silence the storm, but I could steady myself instead. Glancing up at the digital clock on my bedside table, I involuntarily groaned. Thirty minutes before Zaire picked me up for therapy. I needed to get these ideas out. I felt confident that I was on the right track and couldn't wait to share them with Helen.

I startled when the ring of the doorbell interrupted my train of thought and my neat handwriting was sullied by the jolt of my pen across the page.

"Mum? You going to get that?" I screamed out of my bedroom as it chimed for the second time. On the third buzz, I hurried down the stairs before my unknown visitor left.

"Sorry about that," I said to the delivery driver as I signed for the most exquisite bouquet of coral cabbage roses with cream buds and silver like foliage scattered throughout. "Thank you. Have a lovely day." I closed the door using my hip and looked over the flowers for any card. Still nothing. A heaviness settled in my body. I didn't want the disappointment to take over, but it became harder with each day that passed without a single word from him. Stupid really when I was doing the same.

I placed the arrangement on the kitchen table and went in search of my mother's favourite vase. "Mum? You really not in?" Nothing. Where was she? I gripped the side of the counter and leaned over the sink to see out the window. Her car was on the driveway, but there was no sign of her at home.

After positioning the bouquet in the living room, I selected a single rose to keep on my windowsill. The hydrangea bloom from the previous week barely held on to its dusky blue shade. I slipped it in beside my other faded flowers, careful not to damage the petals when they brushed the edge of my vase.

Fifteen minutes left before my appointment. My journal lay open on the page with the three goals I had set myself. I longed for the day I would cross them off.

"You will get there," I promised myself in a whisper and closed my eyes to count down from ten.

I inhaled and held my breath on three. My phone rang, interrupting my counting, and I exhaled. The call petered off, no doubt my voicemail kicking in, so I started the process again.

One... What if that was Mum, and she needed me?

Two... I toyed with the elastic band on my wrist but didn't snap it.

Three... Nothing bad could happen in ten seconds. Keep counting.

Four... I breathed in...

Five... and held it again.

Six... She could be hurt somewhere.

Seven... I pulled the band back and let go, the sting enough to halt my train of thought.

Eight... Exhale.

Nine... My phone rang once more.

Ten... A churning in my stomach intensified, and I reached out for the device.

Without checking the screen, I answered, and the next words stole all the air in my room.

"... car accident... Zaire's in the hospital..." Submerged in an ocean of dread, CeCe's voice faded and distorted in non-existent waters. "... Bea, can you hear me?"

My heart hammered against my ribs, I sank faster while panic lapped overhead. The phone slipped out of my hand and dropped to my feet. My lungs burned, unable to take any oxygen in while I fought against the undertow and any movement was like wading through water. That water became glacial; my adrenaline kicked in and I rushed to my parents' bedroom. I had to get to him.