Fragmented ✔️

7. Echo

Zaire placed his hand over mine, stopping my fingers from moving any further down his face. "I know, Bea, I know," he said, his voice so faint only I heard the words. He kissed my fingertips and sat up as if he had never made his confession. I took a good look at him but he was shutting me out and that made my heart wrench. "Well, I need another drink. Anyone want one?"

I shook my head and cast my eyes to the floor. Each person in the room faded into the background, their conversations unclear and muffled. He was going to propose? The words swirled inside my brain. I was breaking, was broken. Internally, I screamed for someone to save me, to stop the pain, but my face remained blank.

Matt shifted forward on the sofa and applied more pressure on my back, making me realise he was still there. Turning to look at him, I gave him a weak smile and mouthed that I was okay, but his expression told me he knew better.

With no words spoken, he grabbed hold of my hand and pulled me into the hallway. "You sure you're okay? You've gone really white."

"Yeah," I said, but it wasn't easy. My mouth dried up like I had eaten cotton wool. I smacked my tongue a few times on the roof of my mouth. "You know what, I'm a bit thirsty."

"Sit down and I'll grab you a water." Matt helped me to the bottom step of the stairs. My right hand grasped the front of his T-shirt as I eased myself onto it, but I struggled to let go.

He glanced down and frowned when he noticed my knuckles pale with the strength of my grip.

My temples throbbed and my stomach churned as heat covered my skin. "It's so hot in here." I yanked my jumper off my skin and fanned myself with the collar, but that didn't help. "I can't breathe." Panic set in and I desired nothing more than to escape, but my body was done fighting.

"Shit, you are shaking." He slid his arm behind my back and steered me up the stairs to his room. The walls gradually closed in around me as we ascended each step.

The blue bedding and brown shades of the furniture swirled together when we walked into his bedroom. I rubbed my thumb and forefinger over my eyes to alleviate the blurriness. I had to pull myself together. Matt was practically a stranger and here I was falling apart in front of him for the second time.

The edge of his mattress hit the back of my legs. He peeled off my shoes and jumper before lifting the corner of his duvet.

I looked up, and he silently asked me to get in his bed. "I'm not sleeping with you."

The corner of Matt's lip curled upwards as he shook his head and nudged me to move up. "Just get comfy. I'll be back in a minute with your water."

I heard the click of the door closing and stared vacantly at the plump pillows. They did look inviting. Maybe if I laid down for a minute everything would feel okay. Just for a minute. I brushed my hand over the dark blue sheets, ironing out any invisible creases and gingerly rested my head on the nearest pillow.

My jeans itched against my skin and I longed to take them off. However, I didn't want to give Matt the wrong idea. My eyelids closed but flew open when Saffron's face appeared.

"Not now," I muttered into the empty space. "I am sorry, Saf. I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean to." I fixed a point on the wall, refusing to close my eyes, and my vision blurred further with an onset of heavy tears. "It's my fault. It's all my fault," I repeated to myself.

I was still mumbling those words when the duvet lifted off my body and the bed dipped behind me. A waft of mint draped over me as Matt stroked the hair away from my face.

"Shh, It's okay. Let it out." He slipped his arm around my waist, pulling my back flush against his front. Where I should have felt warm in his embrace, I felt nothing but cold and numb.