Rejection Kills

The Change

ROSE'S P.O.V. 

I didn't stop moving. Even when people gave me the most bizarre stares, I just kept going. They took one good look at my face and decided not to mess with me. Maybe because I looked pathetic. Maybe because I was pissed. Or both. Only when I made it a distance away from everyone and was to my lonesome, I let myself go. A deep inhale and slow exhale. The moment was exhilarating, to say the least. Did that just happen? The stinging sensation from my hand brought me back to my senses. As I looked at how red my palm became in minutes, I couldn't focus on the pain, but what led to my hand feeling this sensation. 

I did it. 

I stood up for myself. I think. I was so angry at that moment that I had to do something about it. Instead of holding it in, I let it all out. I took action instead of letting things go. Never did I imagine I could put my hands on someone, let alone hit them. I slapped that girl. A good hard smack to the face. I won't lie, I don't know what would have happened if Mallik hadn't grabbed her, but I'm certain of one thing. I wouldn't have taken anything standing down. And the best part? I don't feel bad for hitting her. She had it coming to her. Throwing water on me was one thing, but calling me out of my name and humiliating me in front of others at the same time was unforgivable. Childish even. 

I thought back to what I said before I left. Goddess, I really cursed her out. I cursed them all in a way. A part of me felt bad for yelling at Malik. He was the only one who felt bad about the whole deal but trying to scold those two was pointless. Then again, maybe I shouldn't have taken that whole thing so seriously. I mean, I was at the beach. The beach involves getting wet. Well, not with Daisy's example! 

Speaking of, what was that other guy's deal? What was his name? Kai? Who cares what his stupid name is, I won't have to see him again. He and Malik might have been handsome, but one of them was a big jerk. This needs to serve as a lesson, pretty faces are not all that! He was so infuriating! He acts just like Liam! Acting as if he doesn't care about the drama, but somehow adds himself in then he wants to be a dick about something. Liam always did that. How many times did I let that happen? How many times did I let Liam get away with insulting me or mistreating me? The same for Brittany. Just weeks ago, I was terrified when Brittany brought me to the ground and threatened to use her wolf on me because I "talked back". I didn't have my wolf back then, so I let her walk all over me. But what about now? I didn't have my wolf then, and I defended myself just fine. I would probably do well to not make a habit of that. 

Things won't stop just because I finally decided to act on the bullying. Without my wolf, I may as well just be a human. Humans can't defend themselves against other species. I may have gotten out of that situation unharmed, but it can't stay this way, can it? 

My wolf. 

It seems like yesterday, I finally shifted for the first time. Sadly, I died before I could even see my wolf. What happened to my wolf? Why hasn't she shown up yet? My birthday passed a long time ago. I've been so caught up in other things, I completely overlooked the fact that I haven't shifted in this life. What's going on? Have I done something wrong? If I don't get her soon, am I just going to live without her? Before, I couldn't wait to meet her. If everyone else was against me, I knew I could rely on her. A wolf is supposed to not only be a part of you, but also your closest friend. Someone you can talk to. Someone you can trust. Someone you can grow to love. Because I was rejected by Liam, she also died. 

Pain. My heart begins to squeeze terribly and the tears creep up on me again. I should have known. Things don't change just because you're blessed with another life. My first life was the life I lost everything. I lost my dignity. I lost my chance. I lost my mate. I lost my wolf. I lost myself. No one even cared. From the start, I was made the enemy or the bottom of the food chain. The weak one. I was hoping, praying to the Moon Goddess that it would all get better eventually. It didn't and my life came to an end. What happened after I died? Did anyone ever come looking for me? Did I just stay in my wolf form until I rotted to the bones? What about mom and dad? Were they heartbroken over my death?