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"there has to be something in that ice-cold heart."
***
THERE WAS A PLAN WAS SET IN MOTION. Porco had the perfect idea to get Evelyn to show him just a little bit of emotion.
He was going to have to piss her off, but also avoid pissing her off to the point where she didn't want to live with him.
Leaving small messes was his only bright idea. He also decided that he would try eating some of her prepared food that she would eat for lunch every day.
But he knew he would have to give her some food in return for that. He couldn't just leave her hungry.
He wasn't cruel.
There were three main rules they set in place when they first moved in together.
Pay your half of the bills, don't steal each other's stuff, and don't bring random people in.
He was basically breaking the second rule already by taking her food.
But Porco thought the best way to piss her off was to bring someone back home.
He also realized that was a one-way ticket to being on the street. There was no way he could pay the rent for the apartment himself.
So he thought he could try that one later if it was even necessary.
Porco was excited. He had always been curious about his roommate for reasons he himself didn't understand.
But now he was on track to discovering Evelyn's past.
"Thank you for coming in, bye-bye now." Evelyn said as she waved to a family.
She worked at all small shoe store in the mall by the college she attended. It was an easy job and kept her afloat. Being a co-manager gave her a better pay than the part-timers.
But she was lucky that she was allowed to be a part-time worker in a management position. Being a student of the school the district manager used to work for had its benefits.
Evelyn slowly cleaned and closed up the store before making her way to the parking garage. She didn't like to walk alone, but she didn't have much of a choice.
The drive home was uneventfully peaceful. She grabbed some candy and a soda from the gas station by her apartment building.
A treat for herself after a long day's work.
Evelyn trudged up the stairs and unlocked the door.
The scent hit her as soon as the door was cracked open. Familiar aromas of her previously made food were in the air and she didn't know what to think.
Maybe Porco heated up her dinner for her before going out? He had done once before when they just began living together. There was a slight chance he had done it again.
But when she opened the door, she saw Porco sitting on the couch eating her food as if he were an innocent man. His favorite TV show was even on, the man was living his best life.
She closed the door and hung her keys on the rack before walking slowly towards the kitchen.
"I ran out of my food so I just grabbed one of your meals. Is that okay?" he asked.
Evelyn wondered if it even actually mattered since half of the dish was already in his stomach.
"Whatever." she mumbled. She grabbed a plastic container of pretzels and walked off to her room without saying another word.
Porco set down the food and rubbed his head for a moment. He broke a house rule and she seemed to not care.
His master plan was already failing. He wasn't getting a reaction out of her, he was just being a plain asshole and forcing her to eat pretzels for dinner.
Of course, Porco failed to mention that he was doing that no matter the outcome.
But it was alright, he had more planned. There was much more to come.
When Evelyn woke up the following morning, she needed to put in a load of laundry before going on a run.
But she found Porco's wet clothes sitting in the washer, and they had very clearly begun to smell terrible.
"Fucking hell." she muttered under her breath. Evelyn quickly put his clothes to wash and looked around for a pen.
She took a sticky note and wrote on it quickly. Her hand smacked rather loudly on the top of the washer as she placed the note where he would find it.
Evelyn then grabbed her keys and went on her run without waking the man up.
Porco couldn't believe it.
He was reading a note, a passive-aggressive one at that.
Don't leave your wet clothes in the washer overnight, makes mildew and wastes water to wash again.
-E
Truthfully, it wasn't all that passive-aggressive. He just chose to see it that way.
He saw it as a step forward in the right direction.
"So let me get this straight, you're trying to fight with your roommate?"
Porco leaned back and nodded in his seat.
"Yup." he said smugly. His friends looked at each other confusedly.
"Not gonna lie to you, Porco, that's kind of an asshole thing to do." his friend Reiner said.
"Yeah, you're just making her life harder." his other friend Bertholdt added.
Porco frowned. "Guys, I've never seen this girl show an ounce of emotion. A guy gets curious, I just have to know." he claimed in a desperate attempt to get his friends' approval.
"Maybe that's just her personality. You've lived with her for a year and she's never been the emotional type?" Bertholdt asked.
Porco nodded as he picked up his beer bottle.
"Yeah, Dude, that's just how she is. Honestly, you're lucky that you've got a chick for a roommate." Reiner said. Bertholdt looked down and shook his head in disappointment.
"It's not like that, we just live together. I just wanna know what she's like when she actually cares." Porco said defensively.
"So you want to be her friend?" Bertholdt asked.
A moment of silence ensued the table as Reiner and Bertholdt awaited Porco's answer.
And it was taking longer than he thought it would to respond.
