Boys With Fun | bangtan

painkiller: Yoongi🖤

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Mentions of anxiety, self harm, stress, suicidal thoughts. Includes fluff.
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My chest heaved up and down as I moved around the room. Tears fell from my eyes as I tried to keep up with my breathing, hand clutching my chest while I cried. My face was heating, my body could barely stand . I felt suffocated.

This was a panic attack. An anxiety attack if you will.

I experienced them every once and a while snd by that i mean probably about twice a week.

They have been more common recently, especially since I had been putting extra stress and weight on my shoulders. It was hard, especially since I was alone most of the time. I had a roommate, Min Yoongi. But he was occupied with work for the most part. He worked at a studio, recording music all day and by the time he got home he was too tired to even check on me.

We were friends, nothing more. So I didn't really mind it. Especially since I was a bit introverted and preferred to be alone. But at times like this it would really feel nice to have somebody.

"Oh..oh God." I sobbed.

Having being diagnosed with anxiety at the age of seven, I didn't think it would get this bad as I got older. I had always been a bit different. The signs were there. I always over though things, and some events affected me more than they did others. Minor inconveniences would have me go into an immediate panic. And something as small as missing my homework would have my crying for days.

It was easier back then when I had someone to take care of me. Now, I was 21 and living on my own. My mother was the one to make sure I ate properly, took my meds and relaxed when I needed to. But now she was in an entire different country on a whole other continent.

Of course she called everyday to check up on me. It would've been smart to stay in America, especially since I didn't know what to do when things like this happened. I had my medicine but I often forgot to take them during this time because my mind was too focused on breathing.

My knees buckled as I fell on the bed,tears streaming down my face. I was cold. I just wanted to rest...

I heard the door open downstairs and I thought nothing much of it, assuming that it was yoongi. I heard his heavy footsteps march up the stairs and I tried to be as quiet as possible, not wanting him to hear me and see me crying.

"Mia?" He called out. I accidentally let out a sniffle that was more than likely what got his attention.

Shit. This wasn't good.

I sniffled once more, trying to stop myself but I couldn't.

"Mia? Are you...are you crying?" He opened the door, coming in without my consent. He walked over to me, immediately sitting next to me on the bed and wrapping his arms around me. He was warm and smelled like cologne along with a mix of outside air.

I tensed in his arms, my cries getting louder.

"Why are you crying? Talk to me sweetheart, I can't help unless you talk to me." He mumbled, pulling me so that I was seated on his lap.

I was uncomfortable. I had never sat on anyone's lap before, not to mention that he had his strong arms wrapped around my body and he was holding me extremely close.