Don't Let Go Of Me

Chapter 1

Living with his two best friends was fun. Dream knew that at least.

George and Sapnap had moved in about two weeks ago, the three of them now all living in one house. It wasn't stuffed or anything of that sort. The house was big enough so everyone had their privacy.

Only downside, one bathroom, so fights for who got to go first where daily news. At least fights between him and sapnap. George chose to shower in the morning to 'start his day fresh'.

What a maniac.

Back to the topic. Living with them was exciting and fun. It had been for two weeks now and he didnt think that I would change anytime soon.

His room was dark. The blinds were shut and let spare to no light enlighten the mediocre big room. At one side of the room, sitting in his chair, hunged over his PC was dream.

He had been in this position for hours now, eyes sharply fixated on the line of coding he was working on. Fingers flicked over buttons, their soft clicking being the only noise in the otherwise silent room.

The tall man had locked himself in about half a day ago to get some work done without any of the others interrupting his creative flow.

Since their arrival, they had started to explore nearby coffeeshops, bars and all kind of those things. Dream really didnt want to take their fun away but he had work to do, a load of work that was weighting heavily onto his shoulders.

His hands shook as he retyped a messed up line of coding, a sweet sigh slipping off his lips. A burning sensation in his eyes made him take his gaze off his screen, rubbing his eyes instead. Sudden knocking at the door made him flinch and turn his head slightly to listen for any voices coming from there.

Minutes past and the only voices he heard were muffled mumbles. The knock had probably been on the room beside his, George's room. Through the thinner walls it was hard to difference exactly where a noise was coming from.

One thing was certain tho, they probably wouldn't hear him. When he first moved in, dream put much effort into making his room sound prove, as to not disturb anyone with his wheezing and screaming.

He knew that he was loud when he got heated up, and he knew that most people found that rather annoying, so he simply tried to make the best out of it.

Time passed by with the bat of an eye, morning turning into lunch, turning into late afternoon. That was when the voices started again.

It wasn't a big secret among the three that dream's mental health wasn't the most stable, it just wasn't talked about. A taboo theme you could almost say. Everybody knew but no one dared to be the first to talk about it.

George and Sapnap knew about his ADHD, but that was about it. They knew that he could go from being overly energetic to completely drained in the span of a few minutes. Well, that was about the only thing they knew.

Dream had decided to keep most of his troubles to himself, way too scared to actually be too much. To be a burden to anyone. To force himself onto them like a leech.

His fingers twitched at that thought and he had to lean back for a second to gather his thoughts again. A loud cracking filled the room, his back aching and screaming at the sudden position change.

How long had it truly been? His feeling for time had slowly slipped out of his grip, leaving him to feel hopeless.

'They didnt check in on you once, did they?'

The voice was back. That small part of his brain that did nothing but turn every little situation worse. Beside anger, sadness started to quell in him.

Slipping through every little crack like a dark liquid, overfilling him to drown inside his own emotions. It was truly pityful.

'I bet you're bothering them and they're happy that they have some time off of you.'

That was when the first real noise slipped past the blondes lips. An almost pathetic sob, let out through gritted teeth. He was pathetic in every way right now.

The work on his shoulders didnt really make the whole situation better as well. It had gotten over his head long ago, drowning in all the work that he had put on himself in a hopeless attempt to keep his mind busy.

At first it worked, the voices were pushed deep down, burried under all the work that had to be finished in time. It didnt work for long tho. Building up more and more, the voices came back and all the extra worked stressed him out on top.

'Hey, what if you-'

"Fucking stop!"

Another pityful sob, tears daring to spill over at this point. His hands found their way into his hair, losing them from the little ponytail he put to keep them out of his eyes. Would it be bad to just, give himself a little break?

To lay down for ten minutes and just, stop thinking? Despite his brain yelling at him not to, the tall boy stood up from his chair, dragging his stiff body over to his comfy looking bed. With a quiet noise he simply flopped onto it, tears now running freely.

Dream wasn't one to voice his  emotions loudly. He wasn't a loud crier and neither would he talk lots about it. The only emotions he let show were anger and happiness, the ones that would be more accepted.

Dream was cuddled inside his bed, blanket not feeling heavy enough to take any of his anxiety off tho. It wasn't getting better, his breathing only starting to get shallower and faster. Shaky fingers reached out to his bedside table, grabbing for a small, black box and pulling it to himself.

He knew what was inside, and alone that kno ledge brought a big blush to his cheeks. Ever since he was small, he loved to chew and suck on stuff, it calmed him down. Thats also a reason why he chews so much gum probably, but beside that, he knew that he had a soft oral fixation by now.

The only other person that knew about this was his little sister, also the person who gifted the containment of the littl box to him. It had originally been a joke. Something that had gotten dream blushy and that should have been it. She probably thought that he threw it away after, but that wasn't the case.

Inside that seemingly plain boxs was a lime green pacifier. A comfort item of dream. Nothing sexual about it, simply a device to use to calm his nerves in situations where it all seemed to collapse.

Of course he would never tell anyone, he wanted to keep his dignity after all. Dream was embarrassed but he also couldn't help to quietly slip it inside his mouth, giving it a small suck.

The releaving feeling set in almost  immediately, dopamine rushing through his blood and the heavy feeling being lifted off his chest. It was pityful of him, after all he was a fully grown adult who currently had a paci between his lips.

"Dream do you want to come down dinne-... Dream?"

Pounding. Loud pounding was all around him, drowning out the noises around. Sapnap was standing inside his room, staring directly at him with a not definable gaze. Fuck. His mind was running, jumping, everything at once.

Didnt he double check the lock before? Why didnt he check it again before laying down? This all could have not happened if he would have been more careful, this all wouldn't have-.

"Clay hey, shh.. You look like a deer caught in the headlights right now."

Nick was kneeling beside his bed by now, one hand reached out to grab dreams shaking ones. The blond felt exactly like that. A dear in the headlights, being caught by a bus.

This all was too much on his shoulders, tears dripping down onto the bedsheets in a quiet manner. Sapnaps hand was warm and slightly ruff, giving him a little bit of stability that he craved so much.

"Scoot over buddy"