Don't Let Go Of Me

Chapter 8

"George."

The air was still heavy as sapnap turned around in the doorway, fixating the other boy like a predator it's pray.

"I said what I said and I stand-"

"And you didn't even think a second about telling me this? You didn't think I would deserve the knowledge if I had my first kiss or not?! George! It's not your or dreams place to keep this from me!"

Nick didn't seem that angry, more like heated and upset.

"Sap I.. Fuck yes it was wrong to keep this from you I see that now.. I just.. I wanted to spare dream the embarrassment but in the end I just hurt you.. This was never what I wanted, you have to believe me that.."

The Brit was standing in front of the younger one, thumb carefully wiping away a tear that had spilled over.

"It's hard to believe and trust someone after they keep secrets you know?"

"Nick I know. Hell I know how hard it is, but we are ...friends. At least I consider us.. That."

It hurt saying it that way, a burning and sour taste on the back of his throat. He didnt want to be friends, he just wanted to have sapnap close, to hold him and being able to claim those sweet lips in an innocent kiss.

George took a step back, maybe all the other needed was some alone time, maybe he needed to sort out his thoughts.

"Stay."

Saps hand shot forward, grabbing George's forearm and making named jolt with a small whine. The grib immediately loosened, those piercing eyes came back and burned their way through George.

"George. I didnt grab hard."

".. I guess I bumped into something haha... You know I can be quite clumsy"

The hell did all the air go? There wasn't a single breath left, feeling like everything was too heavy on his chest. His arm protectively pressed against his chest.

"Roll your hoodie sleeve up."

"Nah I am quiet cold so I rather not do that sap, if you want anything else imma be in my room then."

Just escape this situation. Once you're in your room you are safe, you don't have to worry about his eyes. Just a little bit faster!

In the hallway before George's room sapnap caught up with him tho, pushing the fragile boy against the nearest wall and rolling the sleeve up without another word.

Then there was Quietness.

That quietness that is like liquid. Dark and sticky, spilling into every crack, leaving you to drown in it without any way out. Suffocating on your own caused mess.

The ringing inside his ears was so loud, that sharp tone only making his head hurt more. Everything felt so surreal right now, it felt like he was standing in front of a fogged window, not really being able to look through.

'George..'

Someone was calling?

No matter how much he tried tho, he just couldn't turn his head around to look, eyes set on that milky glass in front of him.

'George!'

Again. This time it wasn't a calling, it was a full blown yell of his name. What was going on? He just didnt get what was happening.

"Fuck George breath!"

And with a blink he was back, lungs burning as he took what might have been the biggest breath in his life.

He was on the floor, big arms wrapped around him and his face buried in some soft material. Was that sapnaps hoodie?

"Oh thank god.. Ur breathing again..Jesus.. You scared me to death you idiot.."

Even tho George couldn't see the other, he was fairly sure that sap was crying, if not bawling his eyes out. He still didnt get what was happening, but he focused to steady his breathing, before slowly leaning back and looking up at him.

"..what?"

Damn his voice sounded raw and broken. It was groggy and breathless like he had just finished a marathon.

".. You had a panic attack George.. You fucking stopped breathing.. I.. I was so scared.."

Only now he realized that sap was shivering, his whole body shaking like a leave in the wind. Tears streamed down his face too, pooling at his chin and dropping onto the black fabric of his pants.

"Hey.. Shh.. C-..calm down OK?'

George put his hands onto the others cheeks, making him look directly at him.

"I am OK, I am fine, I am still he-.."

What was going on?

There were sparks, flowers and the raw smell of burned wood flooded his senses. Warmness spread through his body, making it almost impossible not to think that he was currently burning alive. God this felt so right and wrong at the same time.

"I'm sorry.. I didnt think.. I was just so happy that you were still with me dude.."

The coldness returned and all he wanted was to lean back in and reclaim sapnaps lips again. To have them move against each other.

"I don't.. I mean I didnt like it.. No wait! No I mean I did dislike it!.. Fuck I didn't not dislike it?"

George's brain was mush to say the least and so him babbling nonesence was nothing abnormal.

"You.. You liked the kiss?"

"Yeah.. I mean.. Kissing the homies should be smth nice right?"

NO! Wtf was he saying there? No homie! He wanted to do that and call him his and.. Of fuck he was fucking up royally right now.

"Yeah.. I mean.. I wouldn't mind repeating that some time, after all you always give us pecks either way.."

No no no. This wasn't going the way he wanted things to go. Homiezone wasn't smth he wanted to get into.

"Yeah.. I.. I will go and rest now if thats OK? I feel rather exhausted right now.."

George was already standing up, swaying slightly as Sap held him back by the belt loop of his jeans.

"George. Take a nap in my room. With me."

"..why? I am fine sleeping by myself."

"I don't trust you to not to stupid things the second this door shuts behind you."

Oh shit, right, he did-..

"Whatever. Your room then."

The brunette didnt have the energy to fight right now. All he wanted was a nap.

"After you wake up let's have a talk OK? Those cuts looked rather fresh."