Don't Let Go Of Me

Chapter 13

The following days quickly turned from relieved feelings to feelings of loneliness. Those fuzzy emotions and anxious thoughts subsided and everything that was left was just one big lump of fear.

Not really fear, no. It also wasn't quite jealousy, but on second thought, maybe it really was that. How fucked up must he be to feel jealousy of a person that tried to jump of a rooftop?

No.

He wasn't jealous because of that, but the aftermath was the cause of his current emotional distress. It was wrong of him. It was so wrong and he was well aware of that fact.

"Why is this shit so hard? Fucking cheer up."

The blond pinched the bridge of his nose as his tired eyes started to refocus on the computer screen in front of him.

'You can't seriously be jealous because the spotlight isn't on you for 5 minutes? Head up, you know how to put on a mask, don't you? Act like it and stop whining.'

No this wasn't good. This was no good at all. Why would the voices come back at this point in time? It wasn't HIS time to be taken care of. It wasn't HIS time to get comforted.

George.

George was the one who needed comfort more than he himself. How rude would it be to just butt in and demand the attention?

His hand started trembling. At first it wasn't much, but the longer he ignored it, the worse it got. In the end he couldn't even properly cup his mouse anymore, being forced to put his work off for later.

Then the mood changed.

Suddenly his whole room turned ice cold. Had it always been this cold? He was almost certain that if he focused enough, he would be able to see his own breath in the air.

But that wouldn't be possible now, would it? It was probably just his mind playing tricks again. Yeah, just his mind.

That was until he felt the first touch. It was soft like someone brushing his shoulder while passing by. There was no one in his room. The door was locked and the room filled with silence.

'You should push them away.'

His head snapped around, desperately looking for an embodiment of the voice.

Nothing.

'Don't let them hurt you.'

What were they talking about? Neither George nor sapnap would ever even consider harming him.

"Oh shut up ya dickhead!"

A big headache was starting to form in the back of his head, dull pains echoing inside. He just needed some air. Yes. That.

With shaking hands the other fiddled with his window lock and climped out, so he could get onto the roof of their garage. It was located right under his and sap's windows.

As soon as the blonde could feel the soft breeze in his hair, all the voices and worries disappeared for a moment.

It felt so peaceful, only he and the air blowing around him.

Was this what George felt?

No. No way was he gonna think in that direction now. This wasn't what he wanted to know.

"The wind is nice today, don't you think?"

He head shot around for the second time that day, only to be met with a beautiful pair of blue eyes.

"Hey nick, what are you doing out here.. I mean.."

The raven haired was sitting under his own opened window, which he probably climbed out of, and was scribbling in some sort of small, black notebook.

"Just... Drawing I guess?"

There it was again. That sound of uncertainty that dream could feel.

Sapnap was lying to him.

Sapnap was lying to him?

"You're lying."

The words had left his lips before he could even think twice about them. Taking them back now also wouldn't do any better.

"What do you mean? I am not lying."

Withing the next second, dream had sat down next to his crush and put his head on the others shoulder.

"I know you are but if you don't want to talk thats fine. Just know that you don't have to hide things from me."

It was the best he could mutter at the moment, not really knowing what was going on with sapnap at all.

"I know dream, I know.."

Warmth flooded his senses as an arm was carefully wrapped around his waist, fingers gracing over the bit of exposed skin there.

Oh how he had missed those soft touches. Affection was something he just couldn't get enough of.

"Hey dream?"

A low hum was the only thing coming from him as an answer.

"I think I like you."

This made the blond stiffen in the others hold for a second, which in return lead to sapnap taking his arm off of dream.

"Sorry that's not what I meant, I just meant friends. Yes I like you a lot as friends and I swear that this was just-"

"Give me some time to think about it Nick."

Now it was the ravens turn to snap his head back to dream. Did he just really.. not turn him down?

"Oh.. Yeah, yeah sure!"

Dream smiled to himself. It was a fact that he liked sapnap too but something was holding him back.

Someone.

As much as he adored sapnap, he also loved George and he wouldn't give one up for the other.

But for the time being, there was something that he would love to do.

Grabbing sap by the collar of his shirt, dream carefully put their lips together, finally getting to taste the other again.

It was a pure heaven of serotonin. Everything was spinning and in the middle of that it was just sapnap and him. Sapnap who was wrapping his arms around dreams waist and pulling the other onto his lap.

Sapnap who smelled like wood with a faint hint of smoke and caramel. Sapnap who was currently gently biting his bottom lip and looking up with those puppy eyes that dream just couldn't resist.

"You don't even know what unholy thing I am thinking bout if you look at me like that.."

The raven snorted and clay simply nuzzled his face in the nape of the others neck.

"Also you should shave again, it's scratching me open when kissing and I might not do it again if you don't."

"I'll shave later today then, but only a trim so it won't scratch you open."

"Whatever."

It was nice being this close with sapnap. He felt safe. There were no voices, no scary thoughts and no troubles to worry about anymore.

"I feel safe in your arms."

"That makes me happy, all I want is you to be safe clay, that will always be one of my top priorities."

Dream didn't even notice how fogged up his mind was till a yawn slipped past his red kissed lips.

"Take a nap lovebug, I will be right here till you wake up again."

Just as the sun started to sink slowly, the two of them were sitting on the roof of the garage, wrapped into each other.

It was such a magical and soft moment, sapnap wished that that moment would never ever end.