Living as Four (Polyamory and brown skin)

Marque Marrse

Netarute and Mira barely talked, moving silently around the house. I did my best to be supportive, hugs and gentle strokes whenever they would let me. Our kissing was reduced and sex didn't happen. Their activity consisted of long stares at the front door, the stars, and their phones. Eventually I started sleeping in my own room when it became clear that my presence did not make much of a difference in their moods. Maybe Netarute and Mira needed some space.

I was worried, for all three of them. The girls reacted just as I would have if I had lost one of them. I hated seeing the pain on Mira's face every day that ended without a phone call. It killed me watching Netarute as she just stared at her cell, waiting for it to ring.

And I was worried about Copia. Someone or something really bad must have happened for her to rush out like she did and not call. Maybe she lived in a remote area with a lack of cellphone towers, I mused.

On Saturday I booked a modeling session with Marque Marrse. He is an artist known for being able to capture the emotions for ones eyes and display in on the background image. He displayed to the models emotions and made them like statues in a museum. Fabric draping off in tendrils. Covering some skin and leaving others exposed showed the vulnerability of the model.

 He could bring out the soft edges of anger, and the burning ice of sorrow. I had been following this man for a year and a half and when I went to Samba, a big model conference on the west coast, I had the chance to meet him. He was so chill and down to earth. I told him about my big move to become a self made model and to have fun in life. (He kinda looks like the stylish guy from queer eye, but bigger chest and taller, black hair)

The mood in the house was becoming too much for me. I wanted to be there for the girls, but I needed to continue to work on myself. I had rescheduled a few of my appointments for the past three days but I couldn't put them off any longer I looked gorgeous as always but this time I looked as if I was drowning and then frozen into a block of ice.

 I was floating in a sea of green and blue ice. I was on my back, my head pushed up to looked at the camera. My right leg out and bend slightly so my knee was facing in. My left leg was folded and angled as far away as possible from me. My foot was up near my hip six inches away . Both feet were covered in lace sock all the way up to my knees. While my dress billowed around my right knee as if thrown into one spot. My left thigh pulled on the remaining fabric.

At the top of the dress was crinkled light baby blue slight with deep shadows due to the effect Marque places over the photo. My eyes were a vibrant blue. one that you could feel the cool seep into you bones if you stared of to long. It took my breath away at the hurt I must have been holding onto. The angry a vengeance creeping into my stare. 

I knew my eyes had been watering during the shoot from my leg being at an awkward angle. I wasn't used to my leg being in compressed positions like this. But Marque let me take breaks whenever I needed to. But I could definitely see how the water in my eyes created a heart wrenching look. My hair was in loose black finger curls around my head.

 I had fine hair and the soft curl pattern added to the wet look. My arms were bent slightly thrown out on either side of my as if that could have caught me while I fell. Fell through the ice sheet back ground. I was so happy and relaxed after the photo shoot. He said he would look forward to shooting with me again. We parted ways.

...

It was the fifth day of no Copia, Mira and Netarute were taking it hard. The energy of the house was dim and anxiety inducing. As if the sun had been replaced with the moon. Our house felt drained and empty.

Netarute was up when I got home, she was laying on the couch staring at the ceiling.

"Hi baby," she greeted me with a smile. Not just any smile but a smile that said, 'I know I haven't been the best girlfriend in a bit.' She beckoned me over with a motion of her hand.

"Hey, pretty lady" I gave her a lopsided smile back. I shooed her up from her lying place to sit down. I pulled her arm to get her into a site position so that I could hold her in my arms. Instead of the no response I had been getting before, she responded. Neta wrapped her arms around my middle and nuzzled her nose into my neck. She exhaled in a sigh.

"I forgot how good it feels to be touched... cared for? No...affectionate?" She kept pausing as if trying to find the right words. I allowed it to continue, reveling in her voice. I had missed it for the past few days as Neta wouldn't say much. I only heard her when she cried, mumbled, or was talking on the phone. It was heart breaking. Her voice still sounded rough but clearer in a way as if some feeling had come back into her heart.

"I've been a bad girlfriend, haven't I?" She broke her hold around my waist and wrapped her elegant dark brown fingers around my forearm.

"No Neta you haven't. It is understandable how you reacted. Although it hurts me to see yawl being hurt, you still have the right to express you pain."

"But I don't like it. I don't like feeling this way. I feel like I can't move on and be the best I can be for you, for myself, and for Mira." I kissed the top of her head and patted her shoulder.

"Did Copia explain to you what was happening?" 

She shook her head, "I was hoping she would in the car, but she was immediately on the phone with her relatives and then Atlas. I think something happened with her Aunt isn't in a great situation right now. Sandra is there too. Copia didnt want me to tell you exactly what was happening but im sure just this blanket conversation is fine. " 

She sniffled and wiped at her face. I nodded in acceptance, not really knowing what Sandra bullshit was.

"But either way I can only hope she comes back and isn't as distraught as last time. And right now I want to be a better person to you. You have been so kind to us during this whole event. It is not fair for us to completely block you out." 

Well I could not say no to that. Neta lifted her head off of my shoulder and sat far so she could get a good look into my eyes. Her elegant fingers enveloped both of my wrist as she said in the most cutest voice ever,

 "Do you still wanna be my friend?" I smiled immediately and felt the onset of heat rush into my cheeks and laughed.

 "I have never seen this side of you before. How did you get so cute?"

"I learned from only the best." She winked at me as if it was a secret. She was alluding to Mira. "Answer me. Do you still wanna be my friend?" I gave in and nodded.

"Do you still wanna be my girlfriend?" I nodded again.

"Do you still wanna be my lover?" I grinned.

"Do you still want to be an important part of my life?" I continued nodding. She was so fucking adorable I felt as if I could not defuse the heat in my body I would loose it. So I decided to tickle her instead.

"Stop making those cute sounds! It is too much for me." I exclaimed. She squealed and tried to pull away. She batted my hands from her sides and when successful she attacked me with tickles instead. I screamed and tried to get off the couch, but Neta pulled me into her lap and wrapped her arms around me. 

"Okay! Okay! I won't tickle you. Just stay by my side." I continued until my laughter died and left us in a comfortable silence. It was only then that I told Neta about my amazing photo shoot with Marque Marrse. 

A.N.~

I felt we all deserved some type of relief from sad feelings. Things can be forgiven and or worked on if people have the capacity for it. Sending love to all my reoccurring readers who have gotten here so far. I appreciate your patience with this story as a if grows. Wish you all tickles if your into that. lol