Forever For You 🌷

23rd December 2013

He was dizzied and knew he could've stopped a few beers ago, but as he made his way out onto the quiet street in the early hours of the morning, Alex's feet seemed to be moving independently from both his body and mind. The cold was sudden and bitter and he almost turned back into the pub to warm himself again, but reminded himself he'd come outside for a reason, having had no signal at the bar.

Three drinks ago he'd hit the point in the evening where he wanted Izzy to help him home, to take care of him when he was being ridiculous and once she'd made her way into his head, he was desperate to speak to her, to know she was okay and needed above all to let her know he still cared, was still waiting as eagerly as the first day.

He pulled his leather jacket back on, lit a cigarette and blew the smoke dramatically from between his lips though nobody was there to witness it, then patted his pockets for his phone, narrowing his eyes at the messages and names he could barely make out on the screen. Before the idea he'd had could slip away and be replaced with reason, doubt or worry, he dialled her number and listened to the ring as he puffed on his cigarette. "'ello?" he slurred hopefully when the tone stopped, the corners of his lips shooting upwards as soon as he heard her voice respond.

"Alex?" Izzy grumbled, clearly shifting in her bed. "Are you okay?" She took a deep breath in. "It's two in the bloody morning."

"Mmm, I'm feelin' fine, fanks," he declared, pacing into the middle of the pavement. He stopped moving and tilted his head upwards, his neck straining from the angle at which he stared. "There aren't maneh stars though, which is pretteh disappointin'... joost a lot o' black nofin'ness above me 'ead."

Izzy laughed gently, suppressing a yawn before she spoke again. "Right."

Alex tilted his head back down again and cradled his phone closer to his ear, unable to find the volume button at that moment but needing desperately to feel closer to her voice. "Aneh stars where yeh are, darlin'?"

There was a slight slur which came with his words and made it clear he had been drinking and she couldn't help but find it amusing, happy to entertain his games and questions despite the time, despite the sudden and unexpected call. She lifted herself slightly in bed so that she could glance through the crack in the curtains, then laid back again, shivering slightly. "Nope. Pretty dark tonight."

"Tha's sad," he pouted, but never allowed her enough time to respond or question anything before he continued to speak. "Joost 'ad sum Christmasseh drinks wif the boys and yeh popped into me 'ead." He grinned to himself and took a drag from his smoke. "I were waitin' for a particularleh starreh night teh call yeh but got a lil' impatient."

Izzy smiled to herself as she pulled the duvet tightly around her. "You can call me whenever you want to, Alex. You know that."

"This is not a booteh call, I promise yeh," Alex disclaimed unprompted, nothing he said following a particular pattern. "I joost wanted teh let yeh kno' I miss yeh... I fink about yeh everehdaeh..."

"I miss you-"

"And I miss yehr mouf, Izz," Alex interrupted. "D'yeh remember meh kissin' yeh?"

Izzy nodded to herself as she allowed his voice to shake her body, her cheeks burning in the dark, struggling to summon a response which would work. She regretted that she'd asked him to wait so long for her, wished she'd tried harder to make things work with the little time they had but also knew that it'd all be worth the wait eventually, had no regrets that everything would fall into place. "I... remember..." she sighed at last, closing her eyes as the way he'd touched her and held her that night flashed in her head.

"I'm glad," Alex hummed. "Tha' means it were good... and tha' yeh want more..."

Izzy laughed. "I thought this wasn't a booty call, Alexander."

Alex exhaled the cloud of smoke shakily. "'s not. Joost talkin' about kisses, aren't weh, babeh? Nofin' suggestive 'bout tha'..."

She thought about having him there with her, how close he'd press himself to her side, how he'd sigh if her hands were in his hair, couldn't forget the delicate, dedicated way he'd kissed her, the two of them scared to go too far but also unable to hold back. He was winning, even if the innocence he was pretending to act with now held anything genuine in it and at that realisation she tried to focus again but her sleepy mind was plagued by thoughts of him and the warmth she now craved more than she ever had.

"I'm not mad at yeh, Izz," Alex whispered suddenly, invited by the silence, his voice merely a hint.

Her heart skipped at the depth of his accent. "What-"

"I kno' yeh were worried about askin' meh teh wait for yeh but I'm 'appeh teh show yeh 'ow dedicated I am. It's completeleh reasonable."

Izzy opened and closed her mouth, unable to summon a single thing other than his name. "Alex..." She couldn't help but adore the way he always said what she needed to hear without her having to ask for it, knew she had his trust and that he had hers and it only made her more excited to see him, to make up for lost time, to allow herself to fall. "You're amazing."

Alex smiled, could hear the emotion in her voice and listened to the way she inhaled and exhaled, mesmerised and soothed by every sound. He felt something cold and wet on his cheek, for a moment wondered if he was crying but couldn't pinpoint why, then lifted his head again, surprised to see delicate flakes of snow falling down all around him, dancing down to melt on his skin, disappearing into the puddles on the pavement. "It's snowin' a lil'..." Alex said, his eyes brimming at the sentiment, the magic of it. "Not quite stars but tha's still pretteh special, dun't yeh fink?"

There was child-like wonder in his voice and she wished more than anything that she could see the expression to match it, instead painted it in her head and soothed herself with the idea that next Christmas would be warmer, that they'd be each other's. "So special." She shifted against the pillow and closed her eyes, her heart drumming as she imagined her fingers locked with his under the duvet.

"Fanks for lettin' meh call yeh," Alex said quietly, softly, aware from her yawns that he was losing her already. "I kno' yeh 'ate bein' woken but yeh can go back teh sleep now."

"You're lucky I like you," she hummed with a smile.

Alex gasped dramatically, his lips twitching with playfulness. "Yeh like meh?"

"Merry Christmas, Alex," Izzy laughed, allowing his deep laughter in response to drift her back into a soothing sleep, memories they hadn't made yet swirling and melting in her head like snowflakes.