Collateral Damage (bxb)

4. The Price

I've spent the whole day and most of the night in the office, and now I am looking at the ceiling and waiting for Kitty to give me a call. She said that she would be gone for an hour or two, but it has turned into five. I hope that Kitty has a good reason or even an excuse to keep me and Derran waiting. Knowing Derran, he doesn't mind, and, by this point, I assume he lives here doing what he does best. He left me alone an hour ago, and I hope he didn't go out to light up a joint again. No one would dare hire him after his last job. He got fired for drug use during work hours, and we needed a skilled IT guy who knows his stuff around the office and legal things. A high functioning substance user... How is he not a holder of a mental talent? That will always turn into confusion and a matter of internal debate. He's a good guy, no doubt, but has been dealt an unlucky hand in life.

While leaning back into this uncomfortable office chair, I start to yawn and put my feet on the desk in front of me. Looking at my laptop, I see that it is nearly three in the morning. Well, another sleepless night. The quiet hum of the fluorescent lights above me and the air conditioner starts to ease up as my ears adjust. I look around the room to make sure that no eyes are on me. I know that this is a fruitless effort, but I have to be sure about this.

My hand slowly glides into my jacket pocket and makes contact with something smooth. In a single unbroken motion, I pull it out into the unnatural illumination of these fluorescent lights. This is a small chess piece I keep on my person, at all times, for the fear of what could happen. I could describe it in many ways, but none would do it justice. This little pawn is a contradiction of every law of physics known to man: it is white and black, reflective like a silvered mirror yet absorbs all light like the abyss, but a normal human mind isn't able to comprehend it. I've noticed that other people see it not for what it is, and instead, the mind draws the easiest conclusion: metallic pawn that weighs like a bar of tungsten, a light ivory piece, or it is made of fabric like it was crocheted from silk and wool.

My fingers wrap around the pawn tightly as I lean into my chair even deeper. The light above me is blinding, and I struggle to keep my eyes open. I wish that I didn't have to worry so much, I wish I could go back and live again, I wish that I could just be me...

But you can. Just use it and be done with it.

There is a way, but I'd rather not mess with it. The world is screwed up as is, and I don't want to contribute to it. The thing in my hand isn't from this world and that's how much I know, but most would have no clue. Even the SBC questions the origin of all these things like twisted items and holders. As much as I know, the SBC tested out a theory of how every little paranatural event was linked to something, and I was one of their test dummies. Some people are more likely to get a positive outcome after coming into contact with a broken weave. It is like the rules of nature don't work but you understand what is happening, the same is with the pawn I carry. Your mind doesn't simplify or draw the easiest conclusion, and that makes you a potential candidate for becoming one if you weren't born a holder, yet it makes your talent unstable.

"Paranatural events that took place last night were escalated by holders who did not understand what they were doing..." I say that in a mocking tone, trying to imitate the news anchor.

Do they understand anything about it? SBC needed us to help them, and here I am. This stuff isn't explainable, but it sure does affect people, and some are left scarred by it, by chance from birth or after contact with a twisted item or few. There are even worse ways of becoming a holder...

I raise the little chess piece into the air and dangle it above myself. "If it were just as easy to send you back as it is for me to cross over..." I whisper to the little object before I slip it back into my pocket. I might be going insane, or is it sleep deprivation?