Collateral Damage (bxb)

10. A New Purpose

A.N. This chapter begins from the perspective of Ian.

The song "Sinners" is by Barns Courtney.

I sat there, hugged by Aidan, while deep in thought. The bean bag wasn't as comfortable as Aidan's chest is. I felt his warmth radiate and break the deep chill of betrayal, sadness, and anguish. Was it the chill or the feeling of losing a part of myself? I had spent three years of my life with Jack, and now all of that has been thrown aside. I sacrificed everything just to accommodate him, to be close to him, and to appease his parents.

Aidan's chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm like gentle waves rocking a boat at sea. Why is he so nice to me? I have done nothing to deserve this. I threw my life away for nothing, and he is there to pick up the pieces for me. I don't deserve this.

Aidan had used the excuse of, I have to repay a debt to a friend, but I don't buy it. What kind of a friend asks that? I mean, it sounded like Aidan's friend asked him to be kind to others or something like that. His voice indicated that it is a painful topic. Could it be that the friend is long gone?

I felt that Aidan's breathing got faster. His heart was erratic. Is he having a panic attack or...? He gently moved my head and rose to his feet. Looks like he needs to use the bathroom or something. Aidan did drink an energy drink, and they aren't the healthiest thing in the world. He took one step, and then on the next, he collapsed.

The sound of a body falling and hitting the floor is a dull one. I could feel myself jump in the seat when he keeled over and fell. Is he having a stroke or a heart attack? What is going on? I knew those things weren't healthy.

I scramble to my feet and jump to his side. His eyes are darting across the room. I help him roll onto his back. Seeing him in this state reminds me of the medical dramas I watched where some patients go into a seizure. Is he having a seizure? Gathering the little amount of knowledge I have from TV shows, of all places, I put my weight onto his shoulders to stop him from shaking so violently.

He seems to be semi-conscious, but I am scared. Do I call an ambulance? My eyes tear up because I am still in a miserable state from what happened earlier today, and now this, my savior is becoming just as helpless as me, an hour or two ago. "Are you okay?" What else can I say? Will he answer?

Sounds like he is almost choking or gagging on air like his body does not know how to breathe. Through raggedy inhales, he manages to say while making eye contact, "Y-Yeah. Yeah."

Okay, that's a start. What's next? Has this happened before? How does he live like that if he knows that this can happen? Growing more frustrated at my incompetence and angry at my helplessness, I manage to say. "What do I do?"

Aidan reaches out and grabs my arm gently. His grip is soft and gentle like he is trying to soothe me. It reminds me of my mother and how she used to help me when I was stressed and worried for no reason. He says, "I n-nn n Nee-d m-mmm..."

He needs what? I feel his grip weaken as the words trail off into a dark distance. The feeling of helplessness intensifies as his consciousness starts to fade and his eyes close. I managed to burst out as he finished, "You need what? Tell me!!!" But I get no response. "Aidan?" I shake his limp form. Please, don't go.

I grab his face and shake his head. I am right above him, face to face, and some of the tears fall onto his forehead. I feel hopeless, weak, "Aidan? Open your eyes and tell me!"

As if that woke him up, Aidan's gentle grasp on my forearm tightens ever so slightly. In a last moment of lucidity, he quietly mumbles as he struggles to breathe properly, swallowing and choking at the same time. "C-lo---za....in ze bat-h... Cloza..." What? Before I can understand what that means, his arm goes limp. He is out cold, and I am left here all alone.