Collateral Damage (bxb)

16. Regression

A.N. This chapter begins from the perspective of Ian.

This song isn't the one that I wanted to add, but it refers to Aidan in every line.

Content Warning! This chapter touches upon the topic of suicide. You have been warned!

After I was finished with the setup of my new phone Wolf assured me that it was of no use since I'll have to get a new one if I do anything on it, but it didn't stop me from making a bunch of new accounts with new names. I wanted to stay in touch with the world, check up on Jess and some other people. It is weird that it only takes a few strokes on the keyboard to contact anyone across the world, but now the distance seems so great. Each minute that passes, I feel like I get further away from a possibility to contact those who I called my friends, my old life.

That still seems strange, that I got pulled away from what I was used to, my routine. I don't feel anything too different from what I felt when getting my things moved from Jack's to Jess's place. Feelings from moving away from Jack might still be lingering and that's why I don't feel too different about this situation, or is it me who never felt at home anywhere... I guess that I'll learn the truth sooner or later.

Wolf was adamant that I catch some sleep since it was just ten minutes past seven in the morning, and I didn't get any sleep last night. It was hard finding it in myself to fall asleep, there was so much to think about: other holders, Aidan, Wolf, and their plans for the future. I was laying across the seats with my face buried in them. It might not be a great idea, but I didn't want the sun in my eyes.

One thing that made me stay awake was the radio station that Wolf put on, but he was considerate enough to leave it at a low volume. There was some rock music that he was quietly humming along with, but I wanted to see if anything will come up along the lines of a holder attack or something like that. Well, that's one other reason I made new accounts, to watch out for any news that might pop up and see how the SBC made us look, especially Wolf because he blew up some cars... I am of no use to those who know how their powers work and how the holder underground functions, so I might be of great use to see how the public reacts and how we might use that to our advantage. That sounds like a good plan, right? Who am I kidding, I am useless and was a waste of time and was a danger to rescue. For crying out loud, Aidan could have died! There is nothing that three idiots can do to sway the public... two and a half at best because I am useless but still an idiot.

People are scared enough of holders and think of the SBC as their saviors. If what Wolf said was true, then there is no way to change that, that they cover up heinous acts against our kind... It is starting to look bleaker by the minute, maybe I should have gone with the SBC and had it over with, to not bother anyone and just die with some dignity. By the looks of it, they had a plan and we're doing something else when they found out about me being on a list and I could have put everything at risk. Fuck... Aidan, I am sorry, I am sorry that I fucked everything up for you guys.

I had to hold in my anguish and sadness to not alert Wolf. Aidan was still sleeping, but his breathing was stable enough that I didn't have to worry about him dying on the road.

Wolf hummed a bit louder and Aidan groaned, but he was too taken away by music to notice. I was still trying to not cry, so I swallowed the knot in my throat.

Aidan groaned a bit louder while yawning. "What time is it?" He asked Wolf.

"Seven thirty-something," Wolf responded, but then he kept humming along to the music.

Aidan sighed. "I was out for nearly two hours... fuck, my head is killing me." He over-exaggerated and even I could tell.

Wolf stopped humming and turned down the music. "And what do you want me to do about it?" It was getting hotter. Was Wolf getting agitated? I could not tell because I had my face buried in a seat, and I didn't want to disturb them.