Collateral Damage (bxb)

1. New Beginnings

There is a faint beeping sound that swells in intensity before I get thrown into the world of the living. I hate that noise. No! I despise it from the deepest part of my being. It is made worse that I know what time is it. I slowly open my eyes to see a figure getting up from the bed. That figure is my boyfriend of three years and still counting.

I instinctively raise my hand and free it from the sheets to examine the little band of metal around my finger. Maybe he wants us to be more? No, that can't be it. Not after yesterday.

Jack gets up and notices me, examining the ring. "Are you still thinking about the offer?" He says it coldly, without even an inflection of emotion like stating a fact or an everyday observation. What could I do? Already he has given me so much and now we might push our relationship to the next level.

"Yeah...I am thinking about it." I looked at him and saw just a hint of disappointment but anger dominated the specs of light surrounding him. This was the talent that I held or the gift I had. God, I hated it sometimes.

He turned around and started to put on some pants without even paying attention to my form. "You are wasting your life and you know that just as much as I do." Again, nothing that his voice gave but the sparks of light, that I could see, started to swell as the emotion dominated. Anger, so much anger.

"No, doing what I love is not..." I stated as matter-of-factly as he did before but Jack cut me off.

"I am NOT having this discussion NOW! I have way more important things to do." Jack started to crack. I hated that about him. He can't be true to himself, but it didn't start like that. Jack began to get ready for his day and it was five in the morning. I had another hour of sleep left before I had to get ready for my day. Am I that unimportant to him? "Make yourself useful and make some damn breakfast for both our sake." Not even a change in tone. Yeah, that answers my question. Guess I'll start early...

My life has been easy enough? I am doing what I love and can't complain about it but I have been struggling for a while. All these little fights we've been getting into have been very taxing and the lack of people commissioning me for my work has been even more straining. I had to get a part-time job at the local coffee shop. It is a little indie or hipster looking place but I like the feeling it gives off. So, I signed up for a position. Being 23 and an artist for a living means that I have worked as a barista in the past... Sometimes stereotypes are there for a reason. Hahaha.

I hear the shower turn on and can't help but groan instinctively. "Ugh... I hate today already." I grab the pillow next to me and slam it into my face to silence my anguish. I hold my breath for a second and then release myself from this childish attempt to suffocate my internal struggles that came forth. "I guess it is time to get up." I can't help but mutter to myself as I get up and put on some clothing. Pants first and then an oversized sweater. A glance in the mirror is enough to say that I am not a morning person. What sucks the most is that Jack put the mirror way too high up. Yes, I am short but that doesn't mean I have to only be able to see a pair of green eyes and messy black hair each morning. Jack, sometimes... just... screw you.

I went downstairs into the kitchen. I couldn't help but look at some of the picture frames we had put up. Nothing to do but smile at all the fond memories. There we were in Egypt and making funny faces while trying to lean against the pyramids that were in the background. I couldn't help but chuckle at the memory. And another one! There we were at a burger place in the middle of the night. I took the picture as he grumpily ate the burger all tired and annoyed at me. He never was a night kind of guy but I was. Damn, that concert was amazing and totally worth it. But then there is the last photo we ever put on the wall. Me, Jack and his parents. I don't look that happy in it and sure as hell don't want to remember that day. All I want to remember is that I was happy about dropping out while Jack finished his Bachelor's... We met in college and I quit a year later. We were happy until another year passed and then it just went downhill. Now, I can't sit here and reminisce about our life together. Maybe after work.