Black Dress Wedding

Chapter 5

Jake and Shelly took another 'break' after the first day of school, which meant he had more free time, so I had more Jake time. I was sprawled out on his living room floor, and he was on the couch as we both slogged through homework one early Fall afternoon.

I rolled over, annoyed, "I can't do any more algebra. It's so boring. I hate X. What am I a pirate? Why do I care about X so much?"

Jake laughed as he stretched. When I rolled back over, I was staring straight at the piano.

"Do you still play?" I asked.

Since he was a kid, he had taken piano lessons and would always play at Christmas as I sat next to him, watching his fingers glide over the keys.

"Yeah, of course, fewer Christmas carols these days," he added absently.

"Play something!"

"Nif, we're studying."

"Um, it's called a study break."

He shrugged, knowing that I wouldn't give up until he played something; with a sigh, he slid onto the bench. I slipped in next to him. His fingers danced across the keys. It was mesmerizing, and I couldn't help but give a little laugh. Then he slowed a bit and broke into Hallelujah. As he played, the melancholy melody filled me. It made my head swirl, so I let it fall to his shoulder. I didn't even feel the tears start. He kept playing as my tears dropped to his t-shirt, but I felt him kiss the top of my head. I hadn't felt that close to Jake since he let me fall asleep in his arms when I was ten.

"I don't think I have ever really heard that song," I whispered as I wiped tears away. "I mean, I have listened to it, but when you sing it, I can really hear it. It was beautiful."

I looked up at his face; it was close at first. As he lingered, his face close to mine with his hair falling into his eyes, I could see him, the little boy that promised never to let anything hurt me, the man that protected me, and then, nothing. His eyes went blank again.

"It's just a song, Jen." His tone was abrasive and struck me like a punch in the stomach. It wasn't just the brush-off; he called me Jen.

"Yeah, I know." I tried to shrug off the moment, but I was fighting back more tears, different than the ones the song had pulled from me. "I should head home. I told my mom I would help with dinner tonight."

"Nif," his voice reached out for me with an air of longing, but his hands stayed motionless on the keys of the piano.

I let my eyes flicker to his, hoping he wouldn't see the threat of tears I could feel mounting, but he could. For a split second, I saw the pain he had inflicted in me wash over him, but then his eyes were empty.

"Yeah, sure. See you," he murmured. His eyes were still blank.

The next day, Ari started driving me to school.

It was only a few days later that Will reached out. It was a note passed to me via Ari. She had become my keeper since what I had started to refer to as 'the moment' with Jake. It was nice; I had missed her. When Will and I got together, Ari and I spent less time with each other. But now, it was like old times. She was my fashion mentor, calling me each night, texting outfit ideas while our conversations meandered through annoying teachers and the latest gossip. It felt normal to have the note come from her, but also like it was an ending.

"Now remember, you are your own woman," Ari cautioned.

I unfolded the note carefully and read it. It didn't take very long as all it said was "I miss you" in Will's familiar handwriting.

"So...." Ari was growing impatient.

"He misses me." I couldn't help but smile.

"Of course, he does. Who wouldn't? So, how are you going to respond?"