there's so many new readers and a lot of new commenters which i absolutely love. i'm gonna have to start doing shoutouts again🥺
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December 31st, 2018 New Year's Eve
Rumi stared into the morning sun from beneath the waves despite the saltiness of the ocean water and the brightness of the rays. She could feel the warmth of it on her face and she closed her eyes as they burned, letting the glow paint her eyelids orange while the water muffled all sound and deprived her senses.
Rumi felt free as she floated weightlessly, letting her awareness fall into the feeling of the lukewarm water against her skin. The Pisces wished she could breathe underwater. She often felt like life moved too fast for her. It was happening everywhere and it slowed for no one. She felt like she was in Washington trying to heal from Kizer only a month ago. Everything was still underneath the water, whether the waves were crashing or they were still. Water stole sound, light, taste, and even sight, drowning out the world above it.
Rumi lost herself in the water like she did with everything that made her feel something. And everything makes her feel something.
She was filled with emotions constantly because the smallest things could trigger them. She felt empathy for those suffering, nostalgia when she saw a cartoon she watched as a child, joy when she looked into the clouds and felt connected with the past, present, and future. Guilt when she thought of Kizer, fear when she thought of Melo, abandonment when she thought of her Mom. Rumi didn't feel anything halfway, it was all or nothing.
The water allowed her to sort through her subconscious and prioritize her emotions. She didn't have to focus on her body, just holding her breath until she needed to take a new one.
Melo was her biggest worry, although it wasn't on his part. Rumi had a reoccurring thought underneath the waves these past two days and it was the fear she would somehow fuck this up.
She found it insanely hard to believe a perfect boy was interested in her despite seeing and hearing her flaws. And he hadn't even found them all yet. The past few days were spent sharing loving kisses and intimate moments in the early hours of the morning. Their souls were becoming more intertwined by the second. It was so unreal how fast they were progressing that her mind had begun to overthink incessantly since last night.
Rumi was so scared.
Scared of what could happen if her flaws ended up messing this up. The girl was positive she didn't want to share this with her boyfriend, especially because the embarrassment of the King situation was still fresh. It bothered her almost daily that Melo saw her like that. He didn't need to know just how fucked up she actually is.
