Shaun of the Dead

Kill the Queen

Your P.o.v.

I turn my head and scream. John is standing behind me as a zombie. I jump back and apparently into Shaun's arms.

"Where did he come from?" Liz shouts.

"I don't know but-" Shaun starts but gets interrupted by the jukebox. It starts playing 'Don't Stop Me Now' by Queen. "Who the hell put this on?" He yells.

"It's on random!" Me and Ed say.

"For fuck's sake." Liz exclaims. The zombie start to thump on the building outside as John starts towards us.

"Alright, Dianne, stay with Mum!" Di moves to Barbara to get her out of the way. "David, kill the Queen!"

David looks at Shaun like he's crazy. "The what?"

I shake my head. "The jukebox!" I yell at him. David turns and looks around the jukebox.

"Liz, (Y/n), Ed, grab a weapon." I look around for something.

Ed points at the bar. "What about the rifle?"

I roll my eyes. "That's not real!" Shaun yells.

"How about some cocktails?" I look at him with my eyes wide.

"How do you mean?" Liz asks.

"The flaming spirits" I breathe out.

Ed nods. "Drambuie, Sambuca, Brandy. Get a rag in. Light it. Woof!" He explains.

"I dunno, the whole place could go up." Shaun thinks about it for a second but shakes his head.

"Well, what then?" Ed asks.

Shaun looks behind us and jumps over the pool table. "How about some pool?" He grabs a pool cue and throws one to me, Liz, and Ed, and then grabs one for himself and jumps back over the table. "Okay John. It's time at the bar." At that he advances.

Somehow, we hit John to the beat of the song. I look over at David to see him frantically looking for the plug. He looks over at us. "I can't find the plug!"

"Get the fuses!" Me and Shaun yell at him. For an accountant, he sure can be quite dull.

As we continue to hit John, the lights start to turn on and off. As we continue to hit John, he grabs Ed's cue and breaks it in half. David comes back through.

"Why is the Queen still on?" Shaun asks.

David points to the back. "We have a situation!"

"I KNOW!" Shaun yells.

John goes towards Liz and pushes her back. Ed gives up on his broken cue and runs off. Next thing I know, John comes towards me.

"Oh no, you don't." I dodge him and he runs past. I turn around to see him coming after me again. I try to dodge him again, but he sees it. He grabs me wrist and yanks me toward him. "Shit!" I try everything, even kicking him where no one should be kick, but that didn't work.

"Oi!" Liz yells at him. He turns. She hits him a couple of times with a fire extinguisher and then blasts him with it. Luckily, he lets go of me and I back away towards the Di and Barbara. Di sees some darts as John starts to attack Shaun.

"Shaun!" Di yells and throws the first dart, nearly hitting Shaun in the face. He looks at her horrified. "NO!" He screams. The second dart hits John in the arm. "Yes!" Shaun exclaims. The third dart unfortunately hit Shaun in the head. He screams and Di looks away.

"Shauny!" Ed yells at the bar. He holds up the rifle that decorates the bar. He throws it to Shaun. Shaun hits John with it and pushes him into the jukebox. Finally, we have peace for the time being.

Ed looks at Shaun. "Why didn't you shoot him man?"

Shaun looks at him. "For the last time, it's not-" He was interrupted by the gun going off. My eyes widen to the fact that the rifle was real.

"I fucking knew it! What did I say Big Al was right!" Ed rambles on.

"Okay..." Shaun says. He pulls out the dart and points it at Ed. "But dogs can look up."

He walks over to where I am. "Are you okay?"

I chuckle. "I feel like I should be asking you that. After all, you're the one that had a dart in your head." He chuckles. I raise my hand to the hole. "I'm okay, are you?"

"I'm fine, see? Still standing." I roll my eyes at his comment. He needs to cover the wound with something. I look down to see that he is still wearing the tie. I start to untie it. "What are you doing?"

"You need to cover up the hole. You don't want anything in there, do you?" He shakes his head. "Good now hold still." I untie it and wrap it around his head. "Good, now nothing will get in it." I smile at him.

We stare at each other or a while, but then I remember Liz. I clear my throat. "We should get back to the others, yea?" I chuckle nervously. I walk back towards Liz and the others, missing Shaun's face of confusion and disappointment.

He walks over and lays the rifle on the bar. "Has anyone fired a gun before?"

"Oh, yes." Ed breathes out. I glare at him, and he looks down. I look back at Shaun and nod.

"Apart from Ed and (Y/n)." Shaun says.

"I'm a pacifist." David tells him.

I shake my head. "Of course, you are." I mutter under my breath. Ed hears that and nudges my shoulder playfully.

"Apart from Ed, (Y/n), and David." Shaun corrects himself.

"Sorry, what's Ed's and (Y/n)'s experience?" Liz asks.

Shaun looks at me. "He shot (Y/n) in the leg with an air rifle."

Liz looks at Ed. "Why?"

Ed shrugs. "She asked me to."

I look at him. "How many times do I have to say? I never asked you to do that!" I look at Liz. "And in retaliation, I shot him in the foot with the air rifle."

Before Ed could say anything more, Liz looks at Shaun. "I think you should do it." She says.

"I think we should all do it." Shaun tells her. I tilt my head in confusion.

"How can six people operate one gun?" David asks.

"Look, none of us have any real experience, okay, and we've only got-" Shaun looks at Ed.

Ed looks in the box of shells and shakes the box. He looks at Shaun. "Twenty-nine."

"-twenty-nine bullets-" I clear my throat. Shaun looks at me.

"Call them shells." I tell him.

"-twenty-nine shells, so we should work together on this. I need someone to help me reload and everyone else to keep look out. I'll fire. As Bertrand Russell once said, 'the only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation'. I think we can all appreciate the relevance right now." Everyone walks away. I stay where I am, as does Shaun, when Liz walks over to us.

She looks at Shaun. "Did you get that off the back of a beer mat?" She asks him.

I smile and nod. "Yeah, I believe it was Guinness, Extra Cold. Am I right?" Shaun nods his head.

Liz smirks. "I won't say anything."