Perfectly Wrong

18. Make Up Your Mind

Everyone is extremely chatty during lunch, talking about their plans now that Camila has agreed to go out with Noah, but she mainly just nods and agrees with whatever is being said. She’s not really hungry, so Noah eats the majority of the food on her tray.

 Camila starts stirring the rice pudding on her tray with a spoon, adding some traces of ketchup here and there. It reminds her of the murdered snowman on her driveway. Her car would drive over the remains of his ice-hard body for days before it finally melted. She wonders if her Jeep would be as quiet if she ran over Shawn, just accidentally backed over him and acted like nothing happened.

 “ Camila, are you just going to ignore him?” Maisie asks.

 Looking up from her food, Camila notices Shawn standing behind Noah, staring at the mess she made of her tray.

 “ What?” Camila asks, looking at Maisie.

 “ Mr. Mendes needs to see you.” The blonde says, looking at Shawn’s direction.

 “ I bet you’re in trouble for saying ‘fuck’ in your song.” Noah says.

 Camila stands up and eyes Shawn cautiously before following him out of the cafeteria. It’s a long awkward, quiet, and tension filled walk back to his classroom and she starts thinking he lost his mind by asking her to go with him in front of everyone.

 “ We need to talk.” Shawn says as he shuts the door behind them.

 “ Then talk.” Camila says with anger in her voice, standing close to the door with her arms crossed.

 “ I’m not your enemy, Camila.” He says. “ Stop hating me.”

 “ Stop hating you? Make up your mind, Shawn!” Camila throws her hands up in the air in frustration. “ Last night you told me to stop loving you, now you’re telling me to stop hating you. You tell me you don’t want me to wait on you, but you act like an immature little boy when I agree to go out with Noah. You want me to act like I don’t know you, but then you pull me out of the cafeteria in front of everyone. This is exhausting! I never know when you’re Shawn or Mr. Mendes.”

 Camila throws herself into the desk she usually occupies during his class as he stands there with his hands in his pockets. He slowly walks to her and takes a seat behind her, leaning forward as she keeps facing the front of the class.

 “ I didn’t think it would be this hard.” Shawn says quietly as Camila tries to hold back the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. “ I’m sorry I said that to you earlier, about Thursday. I was being sincere, for the most part. I know you’ll need someone to watch Sofia and I did require the competition as an assignment, but I shouldn’t have reacted like that. It won’t happen again, I swear.”

 The door of the classroom opens and Shawn quickly stands from his seat as Maisie eyes both of them with curiosity. The blonde has Camila’s backpack that was left in the cafeteria, placing it on a nearby desk as Camila looks away because she can’t control her tears at this point. The tension between Shawn and Camila is clear, so Maisie backs out of the room.

 “ Sorry.” She whispers as she closes the door behind her.

 “ That’s just great.” Shawn says.

 “ Let it go, Shawn.” Camila says as she stands up and walks to where her backpack is. “ If she asks me about it, I’ll just tell her you were upset because I said ‘fuck’ in my song.”

 Camila starts walking to the door and her hand stops on the doorknob when he calls her name.

 “ I’m also sorry about last night.” Shawn says.

 “ Are you sorry you let it happen? Or sorry about the way you stopped it?” Camila asks, turning around to face him.

 “ All of it.” He says, pretending he didn’t understand her question. “ It never should have happened.”

 “ Asshole.” Camila says, before leaving the room to watch the rest of her classes of the day.

 When she gets into her Jeep after class, she’s pissed off to see it’s working perfectly. She slams her fist against the steering wheel, wishing she never met Shawn that first week. It would make things so much easier if she had first met him in class. She wishes they had never moved to Michigan in the first place or that Aaliyah wasn’t at their house all the time because seeing her makes Camila think of Shawn. She wishes Shawn hadn’t fixed her car because it would make it a lot easier to hate him if he didn’t do things like that.

••••

 She picks up the girls from school on her way home and notices Shawn’s car is still not in his driveway, but this time she won’t wait by the window to see him get home.

 “ We’ll be at Aaliyah’s.” Sofia yells as they jump off the backseat of Camila’s Jeep.

 When Camila walks inside the house, she hears her mother talking to someone on the phone in her bedroom, so she stops outside the door to hear. She doesn't usually eavesdrop her mother’s conversations, but something makes her stand there for a moment.

 “ I know. I know. I’ll tell them soon.” She hears her mother whisper. “No, I think it’ll be better if I tell them alone.” Her mother pauses before continuing. “ Of course I will. I love you too, babe.”

 Camila quietly tiptoes to her bedroom and shuts the door behind her, sliding to the floor. All it took was seven months for her mother to move on. How could she? And she already wants to introduce this person to her and Sofia. Camila decides not to bring it up, wanting to find out more before she confronts her mother about it.

 “ Camila, are you back?” Her mother knocks on her door and Camila stands up from the floor, but not quick enough. “ What are you doing?”

 “ Stretching.” Camila says. “ My back hurts.”

 “ Take some aspirin.” Sinu says, looking at her daughter like she’s not buying it.

 “ Okay.” Camila says, sitting down on her bed.

 “ I’m off tonight, but I have a lot of sleep to catch on. I didn’t get any at all today so I’m going to lie down.” Sinu says. “ Can you make sure Sofia takes a bath before she goes to bed?”

 “ Sure.” Camila says, and her mother starts closing the door. “ Wait, Mom?”

 Sinu opens the door again and looks at her with tired eyes.

 “ I’m going out Thursday night.” Camila says. “ Is that okay?”

 “ With who?” Her mother eyes her suspiciously.

 “ Maisie, Connor and Noah.” Camila says. “ Maisie is my friend and Connor is her boyfriend. We’re double dating. I’m going with Noah.”

 “ Oh, that’s good.” Sinu smiles. “ Wait. I work Thursdays. What about Sofia?”

 “ Shawn has a sitter on Thursdays.” Camila explains. “ He already said Sofia could stay there.”

 “ Shawn agreed to pay a sitter to watch Sofia so you could go on a date?” Sinu asks, confused.

 “ Mom, it’s been weeks.” Camila says. “ We went on one date, we’re over it.”

 “ Hmm.” Sinu eyes her with curiosity before leaving the room, leaving no doubt she thinks Camila is lying about something.