Perfectly Wrong

15. Easy

Camila walks out of the school’s building into the parking lot, feeling the sun warm against her skin. It has been insanely cold since they moved, so she takes any opportunity she has under the sun. She walks to her Jeep and gets in, inserting the key into the ignition, but when she turns it, nothing happens. She sighs after trying a few more times and realizing something is wrong with her car.

Walking to the front of the Jeep, she opens the hood on her car to take a look. There’s a bunch of wires and metal, but she doesn’t really understand much about cars besides the driving part. She doesn’t even know what the battery looks like, so she ends up punching the car in frustration.

 “ That’s not a good idea.” She hears Shawn’s voice as he walks beside her, his bag across his chest, looking a lot more like a teacher than the Shawn she first met.

 “ You’ve made it clear that you don’t think a lot of what I do is a very good idea.” She says, keeping her eyes focused on the car.

 “ What’s wrong?” He asks, bending forward under the hood. “ It won’t crank?”

 Shawn starts messing with some wires, but Camila has no idea what he’s doing. She’s even more confused because one day he says he doesn’t want to speak to her and then suddenly he’s helping her out.

 “ What are you doing, Shawn?” She asks.

 “ What does it look like I’m doing?” He says, getting out from under the hood and looking at her. “ I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong with your Jeep.”

 Shawn walks to the driver’s side of her car and gets in, attempting to turn the ignition as Camila follows him to the door.

 “ I mean, why are you doing this?” She asks. “ You’ve made it pretty clear you don’t want me to speak to you.”

 “ Camila, you’re a student stranded in the parking lot.” He says. “ I’m not just going to drive away and leave you here.”

 His choice of words, even though accurate, hurts her. She can see the regret in his eyes for saying it like that.

 “ Look, that’s not how I meant it.” He says, walking out of her car and looking again at the wires under the hood.

 “ It’s just really hard, Shawn.” Camila whispers, leaning under the hood next to him. “ You just accepted this and moved on so easily, but that’s all I can think about.”

 “ You think this is easy for me?” He asks as his hands grip the edge of the hood, looking straight into her eyes.

 “ That’s how you make it seem.” She whispers back.

 “ Camila, nothing about this is easy for me.  It’s a daily struggle for me to come to work knowing this is what is keeping us apart.” He says, turning away from the car and leaning against it. “ If it weren't for Aaliyah, I would have quit that first day I saw you in the hallway. I could have taken a year off, maybe waited until you graduated to go back.” He turns towards her, whispering this time. “ Believe me, I’ve run every possible scenario through my mind. How do you think it makes me feel to know that I’m the reason you’re hurting? That I’m the reason you’re sad?”

 Camila is surprised by how sincere he sounds. She had convinced herself the past few weeks that he probably never even cared to begin with.

 “ I’m sorry.” She whispers. “ I just thought-”

 “ Your battery is fine.” Shawn cuts her off and turns back towards the car. “ It looks like it might be your alternator.”

 “ Your car won’t start?” Camila hears Noah’s voice as he approaches them, explaining why Shawn changed the subject of their conversation.