Perfectly Wrong

34. Basagna

As soon as her mother falls back asleep, Camila drives to the grocery store and buys everything she’ll need to cook Sofia’s favorite food: basagna. It’s how her little sister used to say lasagna, so it’s how they call it. When she's at the house again, she starts working on it in the kitchen.

 “ Smells like basagna.” Sinu says, coming out of her bedroom. Camila notices she’s on regular clothes now, which means she took off her scrubs for the last time.

 “ Yes.” Camila says. “ I figured we could make Sofia her favorite tonight. She’ll need it.”

 She watches as her mother walks to the sink and washes her hands before helping her layer the noodles.

 “ So, I guess we finally stopped carving pumpkins?” Sinu asks.

 “ Yes.” Camila replies. “ The pumpkins have all been carved.”

 Sinu laughs and they keep working on the recipe in silence for a few minutes.

 “ Mom? Before she gets here, we need to talk.” Camila says. “ About what’s going to happen with her.”

 “ I want to, Camila. I want to talk about it.”

 “ Why don’t you want her to be with me? Do you not think I’m capable? That I wouldn’t make a good mom?” Camila says as she covers the layers of noodles with sauce.

 “ Camila, I don’t think that at all. I just want you to be able to live your life. I’ve spent the entire last eighteen years raising you, teaching you everything I know. It’s supposed to be time for you to go screw up. Make mistakes. Not raise a child.”

 “ But sometimes life doesn’t happen in chronological order.” Camila says. “ You're a prime example of that. If it did, you wouldn’t die until you're supposed to. Until you were seventy-seven or so, I think. That’s the average age of death.”

 Sinu laughs and shakes her head.

 “ Seriously, Mom. I want her. I want to raise her.” Camila tells her. “ She'll want to stay with me, you know she will. You have to give us a choice. We haven’t had a choice in any of this. You have to give us this one.”

 “ Okay.” Her mother says.

 “ Okay you’ll think about it? Or okay, okay?”

 “ Okay, okay.” Sinu repeats.

 Camila smiles and hugs her tighter than she has ever hugged her before.

 “ Camila?” Sinu laughs. “ You’re getting basagna sauce all over me.”

 Camila pulls away and realizes she still has the spatula in her hand and it’s dripping all over her mother’s back. They both laugh before cleaning up the mess she turned the kitchen into.

••••

 “ Why can’t she come over?” Sofia asks after Camila pulls into the driveway and sends Aaliyah home.

 “ I told you already.” Camila says as they step out of her Jeep. “ Mom needs to talk to us.”

 Camila follows her sister inside the house and they find Sinu putting the basagna in the oven.

 “ Mom, guess what?” Sofia says, running into the kitchen.

 “ What, sweetie?”

 “ Our school is having a costume contest on Halloween.” Sofia says with excitement. “ The winner gets fifty bucks!”

 “ Fifty bucks? Wow.” Sinu says. “ Have you decided what you want to be yet?”

 “ Not yet.” Sofia says, walking to the kitchen bar and throwing her backpack on the floor before taking a seat.

 “ Did your sister tell you we’re all having a talk tonight?”

 “ Yeah, but she didn’t have to.” Sofia says. “ We’re having basagna.”

 Camila and Sinu both look at Sofia, confused by her statement.

 “ Everytime we have basagna it’s bad news.” Sofia tells them. “ You cooked basagna when grandpa died. You cooked basagna when you told me dad was dead. You cooked basagna when you told me we were moving to Michigan. You’re cooking basagna right now, so someone is either dying or we’re moving back to Miami.”

 Sinu looks at Camila with wide eyes, then walks to sit next to Sofia. It seems like they’ll have to discuss the topic earlier than they intended, so Camila takes the seat on her sister’s other side.

 “ You’re very observant, that’s for sure.” Sinu says.

 “ So, which one is it?” Sofia asks, looking up at her.

 Sinu places a hand on Sofia’s cheek and strokes it, clearly struggling to get the words out.

 “ I have lung cancer, Sofia.”

 Sofia immediately throws her arms around Sinu and Camila watches with sadness in her eyes as her mother squeezes her little sister. Sofia doesn’t cry though, so they keep waiting for her to speak again.

 “ Are you going to die?” Sofia finally asks, her voice muffled because she has her head buried in Sinu’s shirt.

 “ I am, sweetie. But I don’t know when.” Sinu tells her. “ And until then, we’re going to spend a lot of time together. I quit my job today so that I can spend more time with you.”

 Camila wasn’t sure how her little sister was going to react. She knows that at nine-years-old, she’ll probably only realize how final that is when it actually happens. Their father’s death was sudden and unexpected, so her sister's reaction had been a lot more dramatic.

 “ But what about after you die?” Sofia asks. “ Who are we going to live with?”

 “ Your sister is an adult now.” Sinu says. “ You’re going to live with her.”

 “ But I want to stay here, with Aaliyah.” Sofia says, lifting her head and looking at her older sister. “ Camila, are you going to make me move back to Miami with you?”

 “ No, Sof.” Camila says. “ We’re staying right here.”

 Sofia sighs and stays in silence for a moment before looking at Sinu again.

 “ Are you scared, Mom?” She asks.

 “ Not anymore.” Sinu says. “ I had a lot of time to accept it. In fact, I feel lucky. Unlike your dad, at least I got a warning. Now I get to spend more time with you two here at home.”

 “ You have to promise me something, Camila.” Sofia says, looking at her sister again.

 “ Okay.” Camila says.

 “ Don’t ever make basagna again.”

 The three of them laugh and Camila can’t believe one of the hardest things they had to do ended up with them laughing.