Love & Sex in Times of Corona

CLAIRE I

She sits in the love seat facing the garden. The huge windows affords an ample view of the garden bathed in sun light. She can see the roses, Germania's and the vegetables she planted so meticulously over the years. It is mid-May, still a bit too chilly to plant new vegetables which she uses to cook in her oversized, sunny kitchen with its two large skylights. She was listening to the news but shut it off when that idiot of a president came on to tell the American people more lies while patting himself on the back. She didn't understand it. He would give these daily news briefings with the Covid-19 task team behind him. And every time one of them stepped up to the microphone, the first thing they do is lavish him with praise. Ass kissers!

And now she sits, all alone by the window, the window where they spent so many hours, holding hands, looking out in silence, for where there is love, no words are needed. They married young. They were both just 21. Everybody told her, 'what's the rush Claire, live life a bit, explore, there are so many fish out there. But she knew. He was the one. And now, 40 years, three children and six grandkids later, she looks back and wouldn't change a thing. He was the love of her life. Always was and always would be.

But now because of that asinine man who sits in the White House, all this may end. He was to retire this year. This was supposed to be his last year as captain of the Grand Princess , a cruise ship he captained for the past eleven years. He would retire and they finally would spend more time together. They were supposed to fly out to Naples next year, add an addition to their house for when the kids come to stay with the grandchildren. Then all this happened. The virus had infected 14 people on the ship as of late February. She did not know if he was one of them. She found out afterwards that he was.

As they reached San Francisco, they were not allowed to dock and were held another six days until the Coast Guard gave the ok to go to the port of Oakland on March 9th, 2020. President Trump did not want the ship to dock anywhere in the United States, because as he so stupidly said, "let them stay on the ship. I don't want them getting off because I don't want the numbers to go up because of one ship. She hated using the term 'President" before his name, because he was not worthy of it. The ship was drifting around for two weeks because no country wanted to let them dock. When the ship finally docked in Oakland on March 9th, it had been three weeks since the first infection was reported. When they initially arrived in san Francisco, there were already sixteen reported infected. They were held off for six days until they were redirected to Oakland. Six days that her husband and others could have gotten medical aid. With this virus, six days is like a lifetime. Turns out, in those six days, her husband and five other crew members got infected. Now her husband lies near death in a hospital 3000 mile away. She can't even fly out to see him because of the ban on commercial airlines. And even if she could travel, they wouldn't allow her to see him because of the fear of infection. And the horror is that if he dies, he will die alone, no family by his side. Then his body will be incinerated. 'We will mail you the remains.' That's the words they used when an official from the federal government called her.

That was back in early March, over two months ago. He died on March 29th, alone, afraid and now she couldn't even have a mass service for him as church services and public gatherings are prohibited.

At first she was angry, angry at the world, angry at the government, angry at the cruise ship. Angry, angry, angry! Could a sitting president be sued by a citizen? The anger helped assuage the sense of loss and the reality that he was gone, that she will never again be able to see his smile, hold his hands, hear his laughter. And she will never again sit in the loveseat by the window with him in silence, looking out into the garden that he created almost singlehandedly.

Then the tears came, and they haven't stopped since. For two weeks she cried, for two long weeks she grieved. And although she talks with her children and grieves with them over the telephone, it is not the same as being there, in person, hugging, touching, crying together.

And so she grieved in her aloness.

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