Love & Sex in Times of Corona

Forever Girl

They got to the hospital at a quarter to ten and the lines for testing were as long as when they went to get their test. But they weren't there for testing. Robert followed the signs to 'EMERGENCY' and ended up in back of the hospital. To his surprise, there was a line of cars there too, not as long as the testing line, but this caught them both by surprise because they thought that they would take her right away and tend to her. Instead, they had to wait a half hour until someone in a space suit motioned them forward to the entrance.

Several more space suits converged on them. Robert and Celia had their masks on and gloves.

"How bad is the patient?" he heard one of the suits ask.

"She's pretty bad, having difficulty breathing. She was alright last night and woke up like this this morning..."

The suit interrupted him, "can she walk?"

"I don't think so,"

The person motioned to someone who ran towards a chain of wheelchairs off to the side of the handicap ramp. It reminded Robert of the shopping carts outside a supermarket. Celia was already out of the vehicle and helping Kaily out, who kept repeating in what little voice she had left, " I'm sorry mommy, I'm sorry, I love you, I love you so much. I didn't mean to hurt you. I made him do it. It's not his fault." which only caused Celia to cry more as she watched her daughter fall deeper into an incoherent state. But for some insane reason, the pink panties laying on her bed suddenly came to mind. It left a funny feeling in her stomach.

"Baby, sshhhhhhhh, stop talking, save your strength baby."

The person with the wheelchair came over and helped Kaily lower herself onto it. She hung a placard around Kaily's neck with the numbers 924. She then handed Celia a packet with forms inside. On the outside of the large packet was also the number 924.

"Maam, you're going to take this to one of those tables over there and fill out all the papers. It's important that you remember this number. It's how we can identify your daughter and her case. I suggest you take a picture of it with your cell phone and a picture of your daughter now. Then you're going to give the forms to one of those people on the other side of the table.

Then she took Robert, who had also got out of the Jeep and had joined his wife by Kaily's side, the woman brought them both together and in a very sincere and emotional voice told them;

"We dodn't know when you're going to see your daughter again, so use this time to say goodbye," then she hesitated, and they could see the anguish in her eyes, "say goodbye as if it's the last time you're going to see her."

They felt the strain in the woman's voice. Although she's been doing this all day and all week, the emotion of the situation was like new for every patient. She felt the heartache and pain in the family members as they dropped off a loved one. It never got old.

Robert and Celia could only see the woman's eyes and normally, they would have thought that was a terrible thing to say, but somehow they understood what the woman was saying and why. Celia burst into tears and fell on her knees before her daughter, wrapping her arms around her waist, burying her face in her daughters lap and sobbing like a little girl. As strong as he was trying to be for his daughter and wife, Robert Ryan felt as the avalanche of tears began streaming down his face.

"mommy, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," was all the young woman could say in a raspy voice as she caressed her mother's head.

"Sir, maam, we gotta take her now."

Celia slowly got up. She looked as if a bomb had fallen on her. Her entire world had dissipated in the span of a few hours. She didn't even try to make sense of it.

"Ok," she said, "but can I go with her?"

"I'm sorry maam, but no one but patients can go beyond this point.

"wait, wait," shouted Robert, "one of us has to go with her!"

"Sir, I'm sorry, I really am, but no one except patients are allowed beyond this point." She repeated.

"The hell they're not! That's my daughter. We can't just leave her here!"

The woman in the suit motioned in the air and two big burly men, also in suits, appeared as if from thin air. Robert guessed they were hospital security.

"Sir, we understand how you feel, believe me," said the big one closest to him. "My little girl is in there." And he paused as if trying to hold something back. "She's just twelve, so believe me, I feel your pain, but it's important that we keep a perimeter of safety around the sick. They have a better chance of recovery this way. Please."

Robert and Celia were taken aback by the sincerity and emotional vulnerability that the large man shared with them.

"Can I at least hold her and tell her how much I love her before you take her?"

When the large man answered in the affirmative, Robert Ryan could not help but detect a profound sadness in his voice. Suddenly, he felt an affinity with him.

Leaving his wife at the curb, he runs over to his daughter who has already been pushed half way up the ramp and kneels on one knee before her, takes her left hand in his right, and proceeds to say the most astounding thing he never imagined he would ever say;

She looks down at him, "daddy?"

"Yes baby, it's me. Now I'm gonna ask you something. It's really, really important so please pay attention." The only other person present and within earshot was the attendant, but he didn't care if the entire hospital was there.

"Anything daddy, anything." Her words came out as if they were her last.

He took the deepest breath he's ever taken in his life, "Kaily Ryan, you are the love of my life and I don't ever want to be without you. When you get well, I'm gonna marry you. Will you get well soon so you can come back home and be my forever girl for always and always?"

Through the darkness of her affliction, she sees a little girl under a towering oak tree, in a sun drenched meadow. She can hear her speak:

"Daddy, I love you and I want to be with you forever and ever. So when I grow up, Imma marry you and we'll be together forever. But first you gotta pick me up daddy."

The man picks up the child and then she proceeds to etch her love for him on the tree....for all the world to see.

She focuses and sees her father kneeling before her.

She smiles, she cries, she holds onto his hand and unable to speak, just nods her head enthusiastically. Then she does the unexpected - She reaches out with her right hand, grabs his neck, prying the mask from his face and pulls him to her. She kisses him on the mouth. It is a quick kiss, but he feels her love.

"Sir, you shouldn't have done that. You need to put your mask on," he heard a voice in the distance say.

He felt like telling this stranger that he didn't care. That he would willingly trade places with his daughter in a heartbeat. That she is his love, forever and ever. That without her, life is not worth living. That he did the most extraordinary thing a father could do – he fell in love with his daughter and does not regret it for one moment. That it is inspiring, exhilarating, excruciating, intoxicating, liberating, invigorating. That it makes him soar to the heavens on wings of eagles.

Instead, he slowly stands, fixes his shirt and nods to the attendant in the suit. He suddenly realizes she could not hear anything he said to his daughter because of all the protective gear she had on. He watches as they wheel the love of his life away, into the corridor of the emergency room. He stands there until he could see her no more and walks back to his wife.

"What was that all about?"

"I just told her she was my little girl and will be my little girl forever." He lied.

_________________________