CROWS - KAGEHINA MUSIC AU

ᴛᴇɴ

KAGEYAMA

Shit.

As I lay in my bed, staring up at the ceiling, only just now fully registering what happened only two fucking hours ago, that's the only word that really comes to mind.

Because, well...

Shit.

Why did I say that to him? 

I mean, seriously...I'm such an idiot.

Hinata said he didn't understand what he was getting himself into before he joined the band.

He was going to say something else. He was going to tell me that he understands now. That he understands because this band means a lot to him.

But before he could say any of that, I basically told him to go fuck himself.

No. Even worse. 

To quote me exactly, what I did say was:

"You probably just signed up because you were bored."

Not fucking true.

"Because you didn't have anything better to do."

Again. Not fucking true.

"Shit, Hinata. This isn't some fucking game."

Why the fuck would he ever think that.

"I don't know if you're too stupid to understand, or you just don't care, but this is big deal to everyone else here."

...

"So you should probably just quit before you fuck everything up."

That fucking sentence. That's the one I keep replaying over and over again in my mind.

Because I know that right when I said those exact words, his heart shattered to pieces.

I hurt him.

I made him cry.

Me.

Fuck.

It's all my fault.

HINATA

I'm laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I want to get up, but I can't. My head is pounding, my eyes are puffy, my throat is dry. I don't know how long it's been since I ran out of tears.

And yet, even after all of this time, the thoughts in my head right now are still circled around those few words I want to forget about for the rest of my life.

Words coming from the boy I liked. The boy who I liked, even when he looked at me as if I were a bug stuck on the bottom of his shoe. 

Even so, I thought, because maybe, just maybe, he respected me, understood me, hell, even liked me, that...that expression was just one he made to mask his true feelings.

But I was wrong. 

He made that very clear. 

The short amount of time I knew him, that's all I ever was. 

A bug on his shoe. 

...

Well, Kageyama.

Sorry for holding you back. I won't anymore.

Because fuck this.

KAGEYAMA