ᝬ 🆄︎🅽︎🅳︎🅴︎🆁︎🆆︎🅰︎🆃︎🅴︎🆁︎ ⨾ ʰʸᵘⁿᵍᵏʸᵘⁿ

you're love is enough to get me high

(warning: mentions/theme of heroine addiction and psychological inaccuracies. If you get offended by these things, kindly leave this chapter. Hopefully I can write something soon that is up to your cup of tea.)

Changkyun didn't know when and how he ended up here. He didn't know how he ended up sitting on a chair holding his tears in, he didn't know how he ended up getting therapy. He didn't know how he ended up in therapy. To get a better view, you see, Changkyun is a heroine addict. It all started when the pressure of being an idol got into him. It went from the pressure of releasing great songs from finding a reason to continue working on his songs. Not only that, he had tons of issues with being an idol. First is, hanging out with a friend without getting himself involved in a dating scandal. Second, producing his own songs that is up to society's standards. Third, having no one to talk to when it gets hard or when he loses motivation, and so much more. And so when it got worsen, the only thing that makes him feel better is heroine. Even though it's extremely risky specially now that he is a well known idol, he didn't care. He wanted something to turn to, something to lean to, and to feel better from all of the expectations and all of the pressure everyone had put into him. There are times where he wants to stop himself but whenever he tries, he just fails miserably and turn to heroine again. Changkyun is indecisive, he wants to stop but at the same time he didn't want to. He wants something or someone to make him feel good no, he wants someone or something to be there with him whenever shit went down. To be honest, everyone was there for Changkyun. His fans, his manager, his friends, his family, society and whatever. He doesn't want that, almost everyone treats him like a celebrity, as someone who is above the level of a normal human being. If that's how he gets treated, then Changkyun doesn't want that help. He wants someone who sees him for him, for who he is inside and out. Not someone who treats him like he is some kind of God.

*Flashback*

Changkyun sat on his chair trembling after passing out because of the dose he had injected himself. Luckily, his friend, Jooheon, had found him in his studio. Jooheon was always supportive of Changkyun. He had always seen Changkyun as his cute friend who likes playing soccer games on his phone. As much as Changkyun wants his friend to help him, he knows the man has his own concerns as he had been recently married to man. 'he has his own business to take care of. Are you really that bothersome Changkyun?" He keeps on thinking. Jooheon had known of his addiction right from the start. The man had always offered to pay for his therapy but Changkyun always refused. Why? Why would he want to take therapy? He was better off being alone and miserable. No, he didn't need anyone. He didn't want to be burdensome. He didn't like owning someone. He didn't like the feeling of being in debt whether it's money or just help in general. And so he keeps on telling himself that he didn't need anyone. He can overcome this alone and independent.

"You're going to that therapy. Whether you like it or not Im Changkyun." Jooheon said firmly after knocking some senses to his friend.

"Hyung... No, what if it goes wrong and that therapist shares my information?" Changkyun whispered having no energy after passing out.

"He's Kihyun friend. My husband knows better than to trust a random dude okay?" Jooheon says, Changkyun hesitates as he turned his head on the other side of the chair. He didn't want anybody. He was fine on his own."

"I really don't need it. I'm fine on my own. I have overcome many problems and this ain't any different from it. I can do this on my own..."

"No, and that's final. Please Changkyun, please do this. If you can't do it for yourself, then can you atleast do it for me?" Changkyun turned his head again when he heard a sniff from Jooheon. He was faced with his friend holding his tears inside his eyes as he continued to wipe Changkyun's sweat with a wet towel.