I begin walking to my swamp after a long, tiring day of fucking lord farquad. I begin frolicking in the onion farm, once again eating every onion i pass, scent of onions everywhere.
I hear footsteps behind me, crunching on the onion layers i had not eaten, I spin around to find fiona;
"i went into my sisters room and tripped over a bra i then realised it was a boobie trap." she says quietly as her green ears twitch, she pulls out 20cm of wax and lights a candle,
"Fiona?" I say, "what are ye bloodeh doin here!" I exclaim. "Go home!" i shout in my scottish accent as i pull a large poster of lord farquad out of my sniffing holes.
"Shruk, yew need 2 leave right now" I shake my head and rip Fionas weave off her head, "why?" I ask seriously walking away to the onion farm as Fiona follows.
"You need to go to Far Far Away." she says taking a onion from her dick pocket and eating all the layers at once. "Its not safe here." she says as she turns into donkey.
"u wot m8" I say to Fiona, frolicking through the onion farm, "its too far, atleast 7 hours away by carridge." i explain as i begin my journey.
"Yes shrek, I know but you have to leave." I stop and spin around to face the bald fiona and her massive green head that had a nipple on it.
"ok," I say, "I will go to far far away just 4 u bc i luv chu bb" I say as i sit on her head.
"ty shrek." she says and walks away.
I begin walking as the birds chirp, I rip my entire eyebrow out and walk until i spot prince charming.
"hello... Shrek." he says in his deep sexy voice. I walk over too him and lick his face "Hello bae" I say smiling.
"Still sucking dick I see shrek?" he asks me as all star begins to playing. I whip out my iphone dick and begin to text lord farquad.
Shrek: Hey bb, b home in bout like 6 years ok ty bb
Big Dick<3: ok bb sea u in 6 years pls bring me sum of the kings dick muffins bb ty xx
Big Dick<3: shrek bae do you mind if i use your dildo 2night the 3 blind mice and the witches invited me to have a sevensome with them, theyre gonna shove their broomsticks up my ass.
Shrek: sure bb, pls dont suck to much dix 2night, #pespespeasant4lyf
I begin to smell a fake bitch and turn my attention to the mother fucking fairy god mother in her ugly skank ass red sequence dress that blind my stoner eyes.
I let out a mighty roar and begin sucking some onions.
"my dear, oh shrek bb." She speaks in her bitchy voice
I let out a large queef that makes the whole land shake. "Deary me." says my fairy god mother as she whips out her large potion dick.
"What the fuck, i literally just queefed and made a earthquake which probably made all the slugs get into my shack and your worried about your dick?" I shout at her bc shes a fake hoe.
"Excuse me shrektitties, But your the fake one." she says as she throws a potion at me.
I spin around away from her and continue walking until i see a giant ass, mother fucking GingerBread Man.
"U got kik?" the gingerbread man asks me, I take a deep breath..
"I was only 9 years old. I loved shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies--"
"please shut the fuck up slim shady, you still haven't stood the fuck up yet bc your a fake ass hoe and no one likes u shrek, ever since u left fiona everyone hates u, shes now with lord farquad."
“I love lord farquad you dumb shit. He loved my anal.”
“then why the fuck is he with Fiona now Shrek? Huh? Why?” All I could do was stand there in silence, until I finally said
“They’re really together now?” I asked “Yes, Shrek. I’m sorry. I feel so bad for you tbh” Shrek decided to text lord farquad.
Shrek: Listen up you green vagina sucking thot. I’m done with you. You’re cheating on me with Fiona? That skank? FUCK YOU!
Big Dick<3: No shrek!!
Big Dick<3:***BLOCKED MESSAGE***
Big Dick<3:***BLOCKED MESSAGE***
Suddenly the piece of shit fairy god mother came flying towards shrek and the gingerbread man “what do you want you fucking ugly-ass flying woman dildo bitch?” I asked letting out a shrektastic roar.
“Shrek bb, I want to grant your massive green asshole three wishes!” the fake bitch spoke”
"3 wishes? for my massive green asshole?!" I asked, I take a few steps back and walk towards my swamp. 3 wishes, I thought to myself, what could i possibly do with 3 wishes.
"maybe wish for a bigger dick? i mean, your dick is only 2" and its a chode.." the fake ass fairy god mother suggested.
I thought about if for a minute or 2, or a year, however long i waited, "I wish for "All Star" to be permanantly on the radio until i die." I spoke.
"bibbity, tittity, diddity, fuckitty, boo." she spoke and waved her dick around and a loud poof fills the air.
"good choice!" she shouted in her fake ass prissy voice. "2 wishes left." she explains. "I would like, as my 2nd wish to be fucked by the 3 witches."
She smiles with her fake face, "very good choice once again shrek! Now.. for your final wish.."
-
OOOOOO SPOOKOI MATE, LEFT ON A YA KNOW, CLIFF HANGER? WELL ITS NOT EVEN THAT INTERESTING BUT YA KNOW I HAVE TO THINK OF SOMETHING THAT WILL BE FUNNY LMAO
TY FOR READING MY FAN FIC AND SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE I PROMISE U WONT HAVE TO WAIR ANOTHER 2 WEEKS FOR CHAPTER 5! <3 ILY VOTE AND COMMENT PLS IT IS VV HELPFUL FOR OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL <3<3 SUGOI SUGOI!
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Fifty Layers Of Onions
Fiksi PenggemarShrek is faced with terrible onion breath after he eats to many onions, he then attends the onion festival at lord farquad's castle, he then continues home where horrors await.
