His Wife

Chapter 42

A few hours ago I was a drunken angry mess ready to blame everyone, even the whole damn world for my miserable existence, now am just a miserable drunken mess.

I wanted to point the finger every and anywhere except at myself for the shallow empty being, I had become. I had laid in some unknown bed feeling like gum stuck under the bottom of someone's shoe.

I failed to serve my purpose so I was thrown away where I am now an annoyance to some unsuspecting commuter, how easily Estelle had scrape me off and throw me away? Too fucking easy.

I was so caught up in wanting to be something to make my mark that I fail to see that I had more than done that. I became so focus on the negativity that came with my life that I overlook all the positives and became the negatives that I so despise.

The hard eyes that stared at me as I stood on the landing by the door cause me to step back a bit as I was not sure if another fist wouldn't come flying in my face again.

"Hey man chill," I said trying not to move too suddenly. A busted nose with a ghastly hangover and the blazing morning heat was not working with my sudden desire to make right by Leslie.

The eyes only got harder. The stance more determine to pummel me to the ground and I was in no condition to put up a decent fight.

"I need to talk to Les," I said trying to stand upright and it seems that my lack of composure shifted things in my favor as Dan step aside and let me in. " Thanks."

"Listen yuh piece of shit mi naah duh dis fi yuh," came the harsh reply as I step pass to a sofa where I sat down appreciatively.

I knew I deserved that. I woke up this morning calling myself even worse. I made to speak when I heard Leslie step into the living room her eyes staring at me in disbelief to anger then to mellowed out into soft look of concern.

How the hell did I ever think to hurt her? Because you wanted to have just one unchanged thing in your life and made a mess of trying to attain it.

"Hey," I said holding up my hand before she could speak. "Mi nuh plan to stay long mi come to say supn to yuh both."

Leslie walk to Daniel where she went to stand by him and lean into his side a sure sign of her trust in him. I look down at my Air Force thinking how at one point I use to be her support. I look back at them as they stood waiting and I sighed then begin.

"Mi naah look fi yuh forgiveness but mi affi apologize fi weh mi duh. My naah blame Stella fi mi action cause she just see an opportunity and knowing her she a guh tek it.

Mi know mi neva should tek the bet, are even so much as duh weh mi duh. Fi a few years now I have been trying to find my place searching for a purpose that allows me to exist where people need mi because they genuinely need me and not because they know I can get them there and it just mash up mi meds.

Man mi suh tyaad a people a use mi dat mi get caught up in being bitter by it. I ran from it only to be tangled in it. Mi damn stupid suh till mi mek Stella lead mi like a stray in need of a bone."

I gave a shake of my head in self-derision and erupted in a series of bad words as a pain shot through my entire face.

"Pussyclaat!" I said as it seems to lodge in my right eye. I saw Leslie step to me in concern but Daniel held her back I put up a hand to say I was fine and look at Daniel who wore an expression to me that read "Yuh fucka yuh!"

"Mi good man," I said wishing that was true because I knew that I lost a dear friend. "Les mi never set out to hurt yuh. I just let my need for the genuine need you had for my support for when we were younger got out of control with the current torment of everyone one just wanting to take from me that I did not realize I was being Stella's little puppet."

I look over at Daniel who was still staring at me with disgust and said "And since mi nuh like yuh it just made it easier fi mek mi do it."

"The feeling mutual," he returned scowling.

"Listen mi nuh come to argue. I just want yuh to know winning or losing the money Stella and mi bet to see who can get eeida a yuh fus was not my priority it was winning Les, but when I saw how it tore her up to think you were using her show mi just how much I hate being used and still I was willing to do it made me feel like shit."

Silence filled the room for a while until I shakingly stood up and said "If you had not come in and punch mi maybe I would not have truly found my conviction. I just thought I had won and in the end, I did win, I win myself back."

I was not going to tell them the fight I had with Estelle and the things she said also helped a lot in my conviction as well.

I look to Leslie and said with a heartfelt apology and a broken heart. "I lost a really great friend for 50k that mi nuh even get or much less even want. I had the intention of making yuh mi woman Leslie but mi did wrong. I am sorry just know am happy you have a man like Daniel you deserve a good man, and he is a good man."

I watch Leslie's hand slip into Dan's mine yes he was the lucky one. I look as Dan's handsome face gazed down at her with genuine adoration. Even if we had succeeded in our game we were still losers because the love that was here could never be broken.

When Leslie move from him and came to hug me I was surprised as well as filled with appreciation. I was happy not to judge her. I remembered Mama saying the weak man is the one who hits the man that is down. Not my sweet Leslie, no she was too caring for that.

"Bye Kam," she told me pulling away. "I wish you all the best." I felt her hand gently touch my face that was sore, swollen and in a few days would be an ugly specter of black, blue, and purple. I stood there thinking how making much of the last time I knew I would have with her like this before I cleared my throat and move away.

"Bye Les."

I walk away knowing I lost a part of me, but none the less I was grateful that I also found my true self.
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Sup mi peeps?

Well, Kameel came to his senses but that still leaves Estelle, and we know you can't turn a lion into a kitten...or can you? 🤔😊

See you in the next chapter.

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