Going Full Throttle

Chapter 18

"Pia Callahan have you heard a word I've said?" Grace pouted at me from across the room. I snapped my eyes back to her as she crossed her arms and leaned against my bedroom door frame. Jedd and Grace had stayed in their RV but Grace said if she had to share a bathroom with him she'd die so she came into the cabin to shower.

My face crumpled in apology. In all honesty, I hadn't even known she was speaking. My mind had been so scattered since yesterday. I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss with Tyler. I could still feel the imprint of his hands on my body. There was something about the dominating way he consumed me with his lips and presence. Just thinking about it made my toes curl and my thighs press together. It hinted at the passion that I knew he could show me.

Those feelings were the exact reason why I needed to stop any and all intimacy with Tyler. He wasn't a permanent fixture in our lives and if I let things grow between us, I knew I'd get in deep. I had learned the hard way that I have the capacity to fall hard and fast. I was the definition of an idiot in love and I couldn't go through that again. I didn't have months to wallow in pain and self pity after Tyler left. I had to think of Finn. He needed me to be strong and whole no matter what.

"Sorry," I mumbled from my spot on the bed, "what did you say?"

"How appropriate that I was saying you need to snap the fuck out of it," Grace rolled her eyes and walked further into the room. She grabbed her clothes off the bed and didn't miss a beat as she dropped her towel and slipped on a bra.

"I know Tyler has gotten in your head. I can literally see your eyes glaze over everytime something reminds you of him." Grace raised her eyebrows and dared me to deny it. "But now," she continued, "it's time to make a choice. Put your big girl panties on and pick a path."

"I wish you would put some panties on," I said pointedly. Grace looked down nonchalantly at her only partially covered body and picked up her underwear.

"My point is, if you want to jump his bones, then girl do it. I am fully onboard for you to finally enter your Hoe Phase in life. It's about damn time. And no," she held up her hand as I was about to argue, "being a makeout hoe doesn't count."

"But," she added, "if you want to push him—and all the wonderful orgasms I'm sure he'd give you—away then you need to own your choice. No going off into lala land every five seconds to dream about it."

"You're right," I said as my eyes dropped down. Grace had the ability to make any situation black and white. I couldn't wallow in the grey world of what might have been. I knew I couldn't pursue things with Tyler, so I had to let it go.

"Hey my babies," Jedd's loud voice boomed down the hallway a second before he entered my room. "Fuck me, are you two finally going to do the dirty?" he stopped short when he saw Grace in thin lacy underwear and me in my sports bra and spandex shorts. "And can I join?" he added with a smirk.

I threw my pillow at Jedd's face as he flopped onto the end of my bed. Grace's musical laughter filled the room as Jedd squeaked from the unexpected attack. He pulled the pillow away from his face and glared at me.

"Fine, no threesome for you," Jedd sassed.

"Oh dang, there goes all my secret dreams." I rolled my eyes.

"So what are we doing today?" Grace asked as she shimmied into a short floral dress.

I got up from the bed before Jedd could use me as a pillow and went to my drawers for a shirt. "I can give you guys a tour of O'Hara? Or I could ask Beau to take the boat? Just please let it be only the three of us."

"Yes please," Grace nodded enthusiastically. "Your cousin seems cool and Tyler is obviously fun to look at but I've missed us."

For one solemn moment the three of us all looked at each other. It seemed to dawn on us how long it had been since we'd been alone together. I bit my lip to stop it from wobbling and admonished myself for being so fricken emotional recently.