Going Full Throttle

Chapter 33 - Tyler's POV

"Are you almost ready?" Scotty hovered in the doorway of my ensuite bathroom. He looked awkward and I immediately felt guilty. I'd been a ghost in this house since things had gone to shit with Pia. I would have just left if Twyla had let me but that tiny lady holds way too much power in her hands.

I cleared my throat then nodded. "Yeah man, as ready as I can be." I tried to straighten the collar of my white, short-sleeved, dress shirt. The t-shirt style sleeves squeezed my biceps uncomfortably and made me feel like a fucking dork.

Scotty stepped next to me and smoothed out some wrinkles that had already gathered on his khaki pants, no doubt from an impromptu nap. "It's gonna be quite the crowd today. Just a heads up." When I only grunted my acknowledgement, Scotty sighed and turned to face me straight on. "Is this the first time you're going to see Pia?"

I took a deep breath in through my nose then turned to him. He didn't look angry which surprised me. I had been avoiding him in fear of seeing the disappointment or hatred in his eyes for hurting her. His brow was creased with concern and his lips were relaxed, patiently waiting for my response.

"Yeah, I guess. Besides a few random glimpses here or there. I've mostly seen her back as she walks away."

"Do you plan on talking to her?" Scotty asked. He sounded casually curious but I could hear the undertone of apprehension.

"Do you not want me to?" Seemed a little late to consider what he wanted, but I'd spent the better part of a week feeling like shit.

Scotty shrugged and rubbed his cheek as he considered his next words. "I don't know. You both seem so miserable. I kinda think a conversation might help."

My chest ached as anxiety squirmed over my skin. "Pia is miserable?"

This time Scotty's eyes did darken with frustration. "She's hurt, man. She won't admit it but I can tell. You guys are making this more difficult than it needs to be."

"Fuck. I'm sorry. I really didn't want to hurt her," I sighed as I scrubbed my hand over my face.

To my surprise, Scotty said, "I know."

"You aren't mad at me?"

Scotty grimaced and brought his unusually serious gaze up to meet mine. "I'm... frustrated. I didn't want you to play around with Pia. I didn't want her hurt which she is." Guilt made me look away, unable to face my closest friend, my brother, who I'd screwed over.

"I don't really think you were playing though," Scotty mused softly. "I think you just don't want to face how serious you actually are."

I clenched my jaw and grabbed a hairbrush to tame the tangle waves that fell in every which direction. The pain of my hair pulling against my scalp helped to clear my mind. I had considered exactly what Scotty was saying about a thousand times in the last week. I knew that what I felt for Pia was bigger than physical attraction. But I didn't know what that really meant. Or if those feelings automatically meant I should act on them.

Some things might be better left alone.

"There's so much to it though, man. It's so complicated. Plus, I really don't want to mess things up worse and piss off you or Twyla and Beau. Or Finn," I added with a shudder. The thought of Finn realizing how shitty of a person I was made me feel physically sick.

"Well, take it easy," Scotty said as he clapped my shoulder in support. "Maybe things will fall into place. I dunno I'm no expert, I just think there might be something there."

I stared at the ground and pursed my lips. Why was it so hard for me to talk about this kind of stuff? I sat and listened to the Thompsons have conversations about their feelings on a regular basis. They discussed their lives like open books. Yet for some reason, I froze and it felt like my tongue swelled up so I couldn't speak anymore.