beyond this

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I stayed quiet the whole way home letting Seth ,Lisa and Jacob do all the talking about Leila .I was to busy fretting , what if when I had my baby it did the same thing and did not like to be held by me and was quiet for everyone else ? I would be so heartbroken if my own baby cried like Lelia did when I held her .

'' goodnight .'' seth said when we got to the reservation giving me and Lisa hugs goodbye and running off , we walked back to the house that was dark because everyone was of course sleep so late at night or rather morning now . Lisa went to the room she shared with Christian and Me and Jacob went up to our room and shut the door . '

'' Are you going to tell me what's wrong ?'' Jacob asked stripping off his shirt and khaki shorts so he was only in his black briefs and jumped into bed pulling me down with him .'' Nothing is wrong , why do you think that something is wrong ? '' I asked him . unnerving how well he knew me, but we are imprinted and in love he is supposed to know me that well just like I know him like the back of my hand .

'' Yes there is you have been quiet since we were at the hospital and I think I know why .'' He laced his fingers threw mine and held them infront of his face inspecting them . '' and what would that be ? '' I looked at him . '' How Leila reacted when you held her , Your worried that the same thing will happen when you have our baby .'' He told me , he of course was dead on . But I didn't say anything .

'' Well I just want to tell you that you don't have to worry about it . our child will love you and Lelia doenst hate you either baby's can just tell when you are anxious and nervous and react to that. '' he said kissing my hand . '' How do you know that our child will love me what if it doesn't what if for years we have a screwed up relationship like me and my mom ? '' I asked him taking my hand away from his and running it threw my hair .

'' Because you are not your mother , you realize what your mothers mistakes and acknowledge them so you wont make the same plus you are amazing everyone loves you if they don't they are completely crazy and out of there minds .'' He wrapped my arms around me and pulled me to his body . '' You really think so ? '' I looked up at him .

'' More than anything .''He kissed my forehead and let me go so I could change into some pajamas .

The next morning we woke up early after getting a call from Sam saying that him and Emily were going to be home around twelve and he needed to get some of the stuff for the baby set up. I had not set any of my baby stuff up yet so I had no idea what I was doing and I had to say it was frustrating as hell . At first Jacob had tried to set up the crib himself while I told him the directions , he wasn't a good listener . I Ended up throwing a screw driver at him almost hitting him in the head and doing it all myself slapping his hand away every time he tried to help me .

'' Jacob go away and leave me alone I can do it myself just go outside and wait for Sam and Emily .'' I yelled as he tried to help me set up the crib I was almost done with . '' okay .'' He left me alone with the crib and maybe thirty minutes later I had it set up completely . I grabbed Jacobs tool box that had to be at least fifty pounds inside just to test that it was stable .

'' Hi .'' I greeted Emily as she walked in the house Sams arm wrapped around her Rachael behind her holding Lelia . '' I set up the crib which I feel rather proud of myself . '' I told them as I looked at Lelia who was bundled in a little pink blanket with a pink knitted hat .still as beautiful as she was early this morning if not more .

'' Thank you .'' Emily rubbed my shoulder and headed back to her room . poor thing was exhausted but insisted on coming home today and start her new life with her baby .

'' Come on .'' Jacob walked me back over to our house .