beyond this

48

Jacobs pov

This week has had to be the hardest of my entire life. I don't know how I am keeping my life together at this point . Without Rose I feel completely empty like a part of me is missing yet I am most worried about the way that she feels , I can feel her pain too and that is what hurts the most . I don't like her to be in pain I don't want her stressed out because of the baby and I think she should be home .

It is not like I want to hurt the cullens or want anything to happen to Bella , no matter what she is still my best friend but there is no telling what the baby she is carrying will be . I don't think Rose or Bella really grasp that not all vampires are good like the cullens . You would think they would both remember that a army of vampires tried to kill all of us .That baby will be a killer out of the whom because it is going to kill Bella .

Because of my mixed feelings in this whole mess I have had Sam kind of take over as alpha .

This whole week I have only seen Rose once when she bust in the house during the council meeting and pushed me away , I felt it then that it hurt for her to push me away , I also felt how pissed she was at me .

I woundered how long it would be until Bella had the baby Seth was over there but he wasnt shifting so there was no getting into his thoughts and rose was chasing the guys off so that they couldnt guard the house . Apparently she was more immtimidating than me and sam .

'' I cant believe that she left , why is it her buissness weather her ex's girlfriend keeps their baby ? '' Rebecca was walking around my kitchen making me some food since it seemed like I had not eaten , too be fare I had not eaten , but I did not feel like it .

'' It's not like that .'' Rebecca didn't know about the pack or anything so she didn't understand why Rose had left she had just heard things here and there from other members of the pack but I hadn't told her anything myself . Rebecca has always been judgmental about me and Rose being together she thinks we are too young to be so serious , look at what happened to her she was serious about someone when she was young , ran off and got married and now she was back home living with her dad going through a divorce .

'' what's it like then Jacob , all I know is she selfishly left you .'' she turned so she was facing me her hands on the hips .

'' I told you it's not like that Rebecca , Rose will be back soon .'' I tried to hide my uncertainty . what if I had pushed her too far and she decided not to come back to me ?

'' I don't know if you should take her back even if she does come back .'' she turned away from me and that was the last straw .

'' Rebecca , get out of my fucking house !'' I growled almost trembling .

'' What no .'' she shook her head . '' You cant handle the truth , do you no see how Rose hangs on all of those guys she is around and how they look at her . You don't even know if it is your baby .'' she was standing face to face with me . when I was younger it was easy to intimidate me I was just the little brother that did whatever she said . it wasn't like that now and she needed to realize it .

'' Get out of my house now and don't come back when you see me around don't say anything to me .'' I told her with my best alpha voice my eyes meeting hers . I didn't even blink .

'' Whatever .'' she grabbed her coat and stormed out the house . she was my big sister but I didn't feel bad , no one could talk about rose like that I don't care what we were going through .

I really miss you Rose , I know you don't want to talk to me right now but I am trying to do what is best for the pack im sorry .

I sent her a message through the link then walked out the back and shifted so I could go to the cullens and sit at the boundaries of the cullens and watch Rose , I was the one person rose couldn't chase off and I think Edward was too wrapped up in his own thoughts to rat me out he was just doing a good job of hiding it from Rose . from where I laid I could her voice and it was soothing the only time that I ever managed to get some sleep .