ANGEL | caejose

chapter 16 ; last train home

Jagged footsteps along with quickened strides, his heart couldn't match his pace, feeling as if it was about to burst into pieces while in his chest. The air around him flew so fast, he didn't even have a chance to remember a time where hours would fraction into seconds, where time would hop by so suddenly, but as of then, it did — and his feet would continue to drag themself until the clock made room for him.

Shoving past crows of people, tripping on his feet, eyes glistening with tears that would never fall, Joseph's state was nothing less than a frenzied mess. Sweat mixed with patterns of dust, he could no longer count how many times he's been forced to the floor now.

The people around him, the ground beneath him, even the air around him, none of it held its prior meaning, momentarily seeming like nothing but the dirt underneath his fingers. All of that for the prize ahead of him.

"Joseph?"

"Caesar!" Has he ever initiated a hug before?

"J-Joseph!" Caesar strains out while aggressively patting the bronze's shoulder. "I can't breathe!"

"Oh, sorry." Chuckling awkwardly, Joseph steps back and gives Caesar his justified personal space.

After collecting himself and taking a deep breath, Caesar looks at Joseph with an eyebrow raised. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you off," Joseph mutters with an awkward laugh.

"Oh, really?" Now it's Caesar's turn to scratch his head, coyly turning his head and smiling with a bashful look. "I didn't really expect you to come, to be honest."

Joseph knows all too well that Caesar is completely unaware of Joseph's infatuation, in fact, if Joseph were any pessimistic, he'd begin to believe that Caesar was actually trying to hint towards a rejection. He was never any good at reading the air.

"Well, I was just about to get on my train, but thanks, anyway!" Caesar's smile shines bright in Joseph's darkness, making the other smile in response.

"You're leaving already?" Joseph's voice was so low he wouldn't have been surprised if it came out as a whisper.

"Yeah, you caught me just as I was about to go. The trains gonna arrive soon so-" Caesar doesn't finish off his sentence, simply continues to smile and scratch his head. Averting his eyes every time they met green, Joseph felt as if his voice couldn't produce a single sound, afraid that if he did indeed speak, nothing but a cluster of voice-cracked whines would escape and tears would fall down his face in a hurry. "So, did you need something?"

The sentence works better than Caesar would have thought, as Joseph's already frantically trying to come up with a sentence and his eyes look as if they're about to pop right out of their sockets.

"Yeah, I, uh." Joseph can't seem to control the fumbling over his words, struggling with each sound that escapes his throat.

"JoJo, sorry, but I'm kinda in a hurry." Caesar's grip on his suitcase visibly tightens.

Clutching his wrist behind his back, Joseph takes in a deep breath and stares Caesar into the eye. Though he knew a harsh rejection was to slap him in the face as a return, he was dead set on confessing his feelings.

"Caesar, I'm sure people have said this many times before." Joseph immediately flinches at the cheesy starter, looking up at Caesar to see his face. Thankfully, the blond is just as confused as Joseph hoped he would be. "But, uhm." He can't imagine how much procrastinating is taking a toll on Caesar's opinion of him, but Joseph doesn't have the heart to think about that.

"But?" Even when Caesar looks impatient, with his eyebrows furrowed and the usual smile flicked into a frown, Joseph still can't help but compare him to an angel.

"Caeser Anothonio Zepelli!" Right before Joseph shut his eyes, he could see something flash by. "I love you!"

Silence. Utter dead silence. He doesn't remember silence ever feeling sharper than a knife, something that felt like it could slice him in seconds. Something that felt like inferiority.

He could hear footsteps, loud chattering, and the wind blowing loudly, and yet, his breath was the loudest of them all. Joseph looked up in fear, eyes squinting and his body tensed, almost as if he was readying up for a punch.

The look on Caesar's face didn't match the one he had envisioned. Not disgust nor hatred.

He looked confused. An eyebrow raised with his head tilted, slightly leaning forward with a hum.

"What did you say? I'm sorry, but I couldn't hear you over the train. Can you repeat tha-"

"Caesar! We have to go now!" A feminine voice called out, one that Joseph could recall if he really tried. 

"Coming!" Caesar yelled to the woman. "Well, that's my call. You can tell me when I come back to visit, right?" Turning around, the angel gave one last final wave and a grin to the wide-eyed male.

"C-Caesar. . ." He muttered as his final attempt, even though he knew that he wouldn't respond. Should he have spoken louder, Joseph felt as if the strain would've been futile.

Kneeling down on the ground, he picked up the dropped bandana and looked up to see the train long gone, the people around him already missing, and the clock's short hand hours ahead of what he remembered.

Joseph wondered why his eyes didn't cry right there and then.