Are you okay? [Nathan Prescott x reader]

Taped up

Nathan's POV:
Fuck. I scattered all over the floor to search for her, screaming her name, hoping that she would respond back, but all I could hear was the blaring noise from the speakers and these drunk little fucks. I managed to get out of the mess but I was afraid of what's happening because it's happened so many times before. Some girl disappearing mid-party after some drinks or hits, or even none of that. I know he took her, and I played a part in it. The drugs, he got it from me. I was so angry at myself for thinking that I could keep her safe when all I did was fucking orchestrate it. Again and again. I was so frustrated, it's unbearable. I paced back and forth around the place where I lost her, still hoping she's still here.

"Yo Nate, you good?" Asked the VIP section gatekeeper.

"Not the time, jackass! Have you seen the girl I came with?" I yelled at him.

"No, I don't think so. When our curtain collapsed, everyone practically raided the area and shit went out of control,"

I was just as pissed at him for not even able to do his fucking job properly. I ran out of the venue towards the parking lot, hoping that I could catch up to Jefferson. My head was spinning from the alcohol earlier, but I had to try and sober up anyway.

Fuck, his car's gone. It's too late. She's with him now and I can't do shit at all. Defeated, I made my way to my truck for some personal space. My rage was up to the max as soon as I entered my SUV, slamming and punching whatever I could reach, making a mess out of it. Trying to take my mind off of what happened, I could only think of smoking some of my stash. My hands trembled as my fingers get slightly burnt from trying to ignite my joint.

The moment I had my first puff, the tears I held back spilled down my eyes. I was furious. I was sad. I was miserable. I was terrified. Every fucked up emotion still stuck with me as I continue to fill the spaces of my truck with smoke and ash. I even took some of those pills my dad made me eat. After awhile, I managed to slip away. My breathing no longer irregular and my hands no longer shaking from the outrage. God knows how long it took me to get there, but I was high enough to calm down. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her too. It was so close, I was so so fucking close. But she still slipped out of my hand. I wish she hadn't come to the party, but that still won't stop Jefferson from kidnapping her in the dorms. I was crying again. I wish she hadn't known me. I hated everything except for her. Why the fuck must this happen?

She was... something else. Something good, for once. She still treats me like a person despite everything. I liked it. I felt so happy and peaceful whenever she was around, but beautiful things never last in this life. They always fade away. Like a fragile flower. She's always been beautiful but tonight, she was the most incredible flower I've ever seen. A part of me despised the idea of her joining the party, knowing how dangerous things can be. Another part of me was so fucking ecstatic. She looked extraordinary in her attire tonight. It was almost as addictive as all the drugs I've taken, if not more.

But what mattered to me more was her. The way she listened to me, the way she smiles, the way she held me, the way she still accepted me. Even Vic started suspecting things, but obviously I had to play it cool. I have to admit, the sight of her being close to another guy boiled my blood, which was why I was so mad for a long time when I saw her with Warren. I don't know what got into me, but I've never felt that kind of anger before. I felt bad for doing that. I felt worse for our lunch before. I didn't want to use her like that. I wish it was just some normal fucking lunch with her. It sure felt real but the moment I remembered him, everything just gets fucked. I can't feel anything good anymore. I shouldn't have stayed in town during that break. I can't fight him. He forced me to. I didn't want to use her. I.. I didn't want to lose her either. I'm so afraid of that and yet, I'm still a fucking pawn for him. Everything felt so fucking unfair. Why do I have to go through all this shit? I never signed up for any of this. Sure, I'm an asshole but do I really deserve all this shit? Have I not been punished enough? Why, why why?!....