Izuku Aizawa

Part 8: Save me from myself.

I guess the day started off normal enough. I was sitting on my bed looking out my window at my rundown neighborhood. I watched people walk by alone, some with a dog, or walking with a family member or friend. People drove by in cars in silence or singing to a song on the radio. Everyone seemed to be in their own world. At least half of the people I saw were on a phone or device. I guess you need something to distract you from the rest of the world. People constantly distract themselves by worrying about trivial things like celebrity's; who's dating and who's not dating. I guess my distraction would be watching other people and imagining where they're going and what they're thinking about. I watched a girl about 20 years old walk by in black leggings and a big white T-shirt holding a little girl's hand. The little kid looked to be about 4, in rainbow pants, a pink shirt that had 'princess' written across it, and a plastic tiara that she probably insisted on wearing. The little girl jumped over the cracks in the road and smiled every time she made it over. The mom, who stared at the screen on her phone, payed no attention to the girl. I imagined the older girl who I assumed was the mom reading an article about the hottest celebrities of the year or texting her friends about their favorite song writer. 

Of course I couldn't actually read their minds, but I liked to imagine that other peoples lives weren't as messed up as mine. I liked to imagine that I was living their life. I liked to imagine having a simple, boring life. All I have to do to have a normal life is hold out till the end of the week. It had to be today or tomorrow seeing as it's Thursday.

But even if I do get out of here, how long will it be before my life actually starts being normal? How long until I get to live with a normal parent/guardian? Will I be going to my dad's or to Aizawa's? Will I be going there immediately or will I have to stay somewhere else before they can let me stay with Aizawa? Ugh, why does everything have to be so stressful?! At least while I've been living here there was a predictable routine. Now, everything was chaos.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Hisashi stomping up the stairs, his big boots clunking loudly through the house. I stood up from the bed and backed up against the wall, facing the door. I started panicking, thinking of what I should do. I briefly thought of climbing out the window. I knew I wouldn't make it in time before he got to my room. And besides, my room was on the second floor for a reason. Hisashi didn't want me running off in situations like this. 

I decided on not climbing out the window. My only other options were hiding, or do nothing and just let whatever happens happen. Where could I hide? I could go in the closet, under the bed, or in my bathroom. I tried to hide but I couldn't make myself move. I just stood there and listened to the footsteps come closer to the door. I couldn't breath. My hands started shaking and I felt tears build up behind my eyes and slip down my face. I listened to the footsteps come right up to my door and... go down the hallway. 

...

Nothing? I wiped the tears off my face and took my seat back on the bed but the tears didn't stop. I was a mess. I couldn't stop crying even though nothing had even happened. I'm weak. I'm weak and useless. There should at least be a reason to cry. 

I got up off the bed and walked slowly to my bathroom. The tears continued to stream down my face. I grabbed the blade from my back pocket and sat in front of the toilet. Crimson liquid spilled from my arm. It was thick and warm and my reason to cry. I could cry if I was hurt. I didn't want to cry or be in pain, but if I couldn't stop the tears they should at least have a reason to be there. The pain was a way to distract myself from everything I can't control. I could control this pain and it made me feel like I wasn't just strapped in a rollercoaster with a blindfold. There were a lot of reasons for me cutting myself, but those were my main reason for right now. 

I thought of what Hisashi would do if he walked in and saw me. He would probably just laugh at me and tell me to kill myself already. I put another cut on my arm.

I thought about how everything could go wrong with getting me away from Hisashi. Cut number three.

I thought about how much I wish I could talk to my Mom just one last time. A fourth cut.

Maybe I should stop before I bleed too much. I was starting to get light headed. My breathing was getting faster and I felt weak. Every move I made felt like I was moving through syrup. I felt sweaty and tired. My eyelids got heavy.

I leaned against the wall and put my hand over the cuts, trying to stop the seemingly endless stream of blood. I hadn't realized that I was going into hypovolemic shock. It wasn't supposed to happen unless you lose 20% of your blood volume. Had I really cut that deep? Is this really how I'm going to die? This can't be the end... I'm so close to getting out! It can't end like this, it can't! My thoughts became muddled and confused. I couldn't think straight and I could barely stay awake. Everyone had been so focused on saving me from Hisashi that nobody had thought to save me from myself. It's all over... I'm sorry.

Then everything was dark.

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*Maniacal laughter* It really is fun to be on this side of a cliffhanger. Maybe I should do this more often ;)

I hope everyone liked the chapter, I'm sorry it took more than a week to post but I'll be posting more often as I get the hang of this. This was a really heavy chapter to write, but the next chapter is sure to be 'fun'. I already have plans... AAAnyway, thanks for reading everyone!

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Word count: 1103