Transform Me (A "Shatter Me" Trilogy Fanfiction)

TWENTY-SEVEN: UNTIMELY DEMISE

27: Untimely Demise

            As I exit the library, I hear footsteps catching up to me.

             “Hiroko, wait.”

             “Leave me alone, Kenji,” I all but snarl.

             He quickly strides ahead and stops right before me, blocking my path.  “Hiroko, please.  We need to talk.”

             “The last time you said those words a few hours ago, things didn’t go so well, did they?”  I retort, brushing past him as hard as I can.  “Leave me alone.  I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

             “I hurt you.  I made you cry.”  His voice is quiet and brimming with regret.  “I was such an asshole, Hiroko.  Please, I’m sorry.”

             I stop and spin around to face him.  Tears are threatening to spill forth from my eyes once more.  “You know what?  You can take your apology and shove it somewhere else because you and I are done, Kenji.”

             His face pales.  “Hiroko, please.  Don’t say that.”

             “There’s nothing you can say or do to make me change my mind.”

             “I should have trusted you from the beginning.  I should have never allowed my jealousy to doubt your word when you told me you didn’t have any feelings for Kim.”

             “I never said I didn’t have any feelings for Kim.”  As soon as the words leave my lips, the regret I feel is instantaneous.  But I can’t take them back now.  He deserves to know the truth.

             He blinks, completely taken aback.  “What?”

             “I told you that Kim and I aren’t in any sort of romantic relationship, and that’s a fact.”  I drop my head, fists clenched at my sides.  “But it doesn’t mean I don’t have any feelings for him.  It took me a while for me to realize this.”

             “Hiroko—”

             Dropping my head, I stare at my shoes as I quietly say, “I need time to sort this out.  And until then, I don’t want you anywhere near me.”

             “Hiroko, please.  Please…don’t say that.  Don’t do this to me.  Please.”

             He takes one step forward, arms outstretched, but I take two steps back.

             “I’m sorry, Kenji.”  My voice is barely audible as I feel the first stream of warm tears snake down my cheeks.  “I’m sorry.”

             Then I turn around and run.

 *          *          *

             The simulation chamber is empty, much to my relief.  It almost always is, which is why it’s one of my favorite places here.  This is where I usually stay when I need some time alone, when I can’t handle seeing anyone.  Like right now.

             I don’t know how long I’ve been in here, curled up into a miserable ball on the floor, crying until my head pounds and my tears run out.  I can’t believe how badly things have turned out—not just with this whole mess with me and Kenji, but also the growing, gnawing suspicion that someone among us might be a snake in the grass.  And I just can’t stand to think of anyone in that way.

             I’ve been living here ever since I was ten years old, and I’ve known everyone for that long.  Sure, I wouldn’t say that I’m particularly close to a lot of them, but I do consider everyone here my family.  This is why I cannot bear the thought that someone may have been betraying us all this time.  I didn’t want to consider the possibility, but Warner and the others may be right.  Still, it’s much too painful.  All these accusations.