(YUI X HIKARU) The Voices Of My Heart

[12.0] Not Brave

Hikaru... it was okay if you want to cry in front of me. In front of us.

Too many thoughts and things I really wanted to give to you and it keeps playing in my mind in the past before you tell us the truth by your own speech. Something like...

1) I was willing to lend my shirt as tissue for your tears.

2) My shoulder was always ready for you to put your forehead or chin on while you were crying.

3) My ears, each second as I'm still living on the earth, always be ready to hear your crying or whining or sobbing sound.

4) My thumb.... was always ready to wipe that hot tears of yours.

5) My arms, of course, were always ready to pull you into a hug for comfort.

6) My heart, what else if it was not to understand things you were going through?

I know you never cried in front of us before you tell us everything, and it may be an awkward situation for you. I badly wanted to tell you that It was okay. You no need to be awkward in front of us...

Hiding it all just by yourself make us hurt even more...

But maybe you have your own reasons why... even until today, I don't know...

If I could turn back time, I want to be the brave Kobayashi Yui. Not the stupid Kobayashi Yui.

One day, I saw you at the hospital,
Crying,
Alone.

Your face was really red. You were sobbing really hard. Your cheeks were soaked with your tears.

Do you want to know what did I do that time? I just stand meters from you, hide behind a large tree, and watch you. Watch you silently.

I don't know why. I don't know why my legs don't want to bring me closer to you so that I can comfort you. I can shed your tears. I can hug you.

I wanted to tell you that everything is going to be okay.

I wanted to tell you that you don't need to worry about what will going to happen to you in the future.

I wanted to tell you that I'm not going to leave you even when the disease started to really show its devil to the public of how it going to affect you. Your life. Your future.

I know what will happen next, that time.

I learned how to save people when they choked so that, I can help you whenever you choked your food because I know it will happen.

I know one day, you will seat in a wheelchair.

At that time, I don't know, should I regret reading about the disease or not because it's helped me even with a little thing.

I wanted to help you.

I wanted to rescue you.

I wanted to try my best for you.

So I learned new things just for you.

But still...

Nothing can stop the disease, I know.

I was so mad.

I still remember the day when you choked while eating your food.

I still remember we eat under a shady tree near the field where we owned that place because usually, no one will be there during recess.