ateez family au

121

"... Mr. Seo... he touched me when I said no"

~

The sky began to turn light blue and purple; the black fundament faded slowly and the next morning began. Faint smoke was rising from the backyard door as the ravenette welcomed it in his lungs. When he was young, his head would be empty whenever he had a cigarette between his lips. For a moment, his head would be empty. Oh how much he wished to have no thoughts at all. How much he wished to never have experienced the past sleepless hours of the night.

How did he not notice?

Now everything sat in place and the disgusting picture made sense.

He had failed, in every aspect of parenting.

The glass door behind him slid open and the younger stepped out next to him. A cold breeze hit his face and welcomed him into the dawn. Pure silence reigned over the married couple; both were at a loss of words. There were none left to say other than their worst nightmare had come true right in front of their eyes without them noticing. There were also no tears left to cry, Seonghwa's eyes were dry and burned, Hongjoong's throat sore and raspy. The younger didn't comment on his husband's relapse to cigarettes at all. Though he was curious where he had hidden them. "I will call Mrs. Yun as soon as her law firm opens at six," he said instead and stared up in the purple sky of daybreak.

"... is he sleeping?"

"He fell asleep five minutes ago," Hongjoong replied and watched his husband take-out the cigarette and breath out the last bit of smoke left. No matter how much he wanted to say something to assure him that things could be fixed, he couldn't. He wouldn't even believe himself. It was so hard to imagine that it could be fixed. It was not an injury that could heal, it was nothing material that could be replaced. Right in front of his eyes, his son got scarred for life. While the scumbag would maybe sit a couple of years, Yeosang would never forget.

"I'm... I'm going under the shower for a couple of minutes..." Seonghwa stated and walked past his husband without a short glance. His stomach started to turn the longer he thought about what had happened and what would have to happen during the coming hours. Anxiety rose and spread in his chest; he didn't have the strength to go through with it. He knew he didn't. But he had to, and he had to be successful; for his child, he had to. Seonghwa reentered the bedroom and let his eyes roam over his bed. Right in the middle, rolled up in the large and thick blanket, Yeosang slept. He looked so carefree for that one, short moment. As if no evil existed in his world, he huffed into the pillow. As if there were no shadows over him, he muffled sweet nonsense into the cushion. Though Seonghwa had thought his eyes were ultimately dried out of tears, a new load started to pool in the corners of his eyes. A silent sob broke free from his lips and he took careful steps towards his boy. Gently, he brushed his oh so soft hair out of his oh so pretty face. Yeosang scrunched his nose in his sleep, still noticing the strong smell of cigarettes. "It's okay..." Seonghwa whispered and wiped away his tears with the sleeve of his other hand, "I won't start, baby... just a little mistake that I couldn't but let slip..."

"... say, will you ever forgive me for not being able to protect you?"

"... will you ever believe me when I say I love you?"

~

Yunho wiped away a measly tear that rolled down his cheek. He wasn't sure if he had done well by eavesdropping on his parents or not. He finally knew the truth, but did he really want to know? For which price? To know that he had again failed as an older brother? He should have noticed earlier, all the excuses San and he had made up were so bad... Yeosang was great at math, for what would he need extra lectures? Yeosang ever fought with anyone, why would he limp?