Mingi glanced over to his brother, tipped his lips unsure. He couldn't explain the heavy feeling on his chest; there was no reason to be nervous, anxious even when talking to his siblings. There had never been a point in his life where he had been given the feeling that he wasn't listened to; why then beat his heart so fast? So heavy?
He laid back on his right side, aced the wall again. Thanks to the dim and warm light Yunho was using to read through his study books on the other side of the room, Mingi could see his own posters on his side. Not long ago he had developed an interest in dancing too, not hip-hop though.
It had been his first time really seeing it when he was watching a drama on the tv with his father. Mingi wouldn't lie; he did not understand much of the art, of what the movements were supposed to express, but it stood in his eye. He could remember his father telling him about contemporary dance after he had specifically asked. Seonghwa had offered him to sign him up in dance classes if he was interested in trying It out. Mingi had visited dance classes for two months, then quitted due to feeling like a 'little fall-out'. Not that he had told his parents why because listening to a long lecture about how he shouldn't let people from outside scare him away from something he wanted to do wasn't something he wanted to hear.
He simply didn't like all the girls he was thrown in a group with looking at him so weirdly. It wasn't that, even the couple of boys that were also there were no different. Maybe it wasn't the uncomfortable staring either, maybe it was the things he got told. Mingi knew well that he was just a little bigger than most kids of his age; he was proud, mostly. Of course, he was; all his childhood he had looked up to Yunho and how tall, how strong he was. He was proud to be growing like his brother. Yet there were things his statue seemed to be a problem. And in the two months of contemporary dance classes, he came to the conclusion that maybe he was too big to be dancing that style, that maybe if he was a little smaller, looked a little more fragile, he could move as graceful as the people he had been watching.
The lamp turned off, Yunho shifted in his bed.
Mingi hadn't noticed for how long he had been in his head. Yunho studied until a little past 11 pm on days where he didn't have any practice. It was already so late, tomorrow they both would have school to attend to. Yet no matter how much he tried to force himself to sleep, his thoughts didn't let him go. "Yuyu..." he called, "are you still awake?"
The elder hummed tiredly from his bed, the hum muffled from the pillows and blankets. Yunho tried his best to open his eyes and look after his brother but not only was his body exhausted, but his brain fried also. All he could do is throw himself on his right side and face his younger sibling. The unusual long silence made him a little worried, so he gathered the last drop of energy to open one of his eyes. Mingi wasn't even facing him he noticed. Just like when he was a toddler, he was rolled up in his blanket like a burrito and faced the wall. A tired smile flashed over the elder's lips as he thought of Mingi's toddler times.
"... is it weird that... I don't know, that I like doing things that I shouldn't because of the way I look?"
"Mingi what the fuck." Yunho replied, too tired to even comprehend what his brother tried to say. "Just like whatever you want?"
"No that's not the issue... I like it but I'm the issue."
"Who the fuck told you that?" The elder knit his brows, doubting he was following his younger sibling right. Yet, he tried to understand as many of the words he could comprehend at that hour to help Mingi ease his problem. "You can like whatever you want, Mingi, you can do whatever you want, and if someone is mean you just kick their balls."
"You don't get what I want to say, do you?" Mingi replied and rolled to his left side, facing his brother. "Thanks for trying, Yuyu."
~
Yunho munched his cereal, eyes fixed on the bowl and how the crunchy little cookies swam in the milk. It was weekend finally, which meant he had time to rehearse his school stuff and then go to the studio a little earlier than usual. Yet he couldn't tune his mind to the things he had to get done at all, for days he was stuck at the random conversation he had had with Mingi; questioning if he even had it or if it had been just a weird dream. Mingi had never brought up that conversation again, acted as if it had never happened. Yunho was convinced his mind was playing tricks on him.
"Yunho... Yunho...?"
"Huh-" The teen's head shot up from his bowl, looking right back at his father eyeing him with concern between his knitted brows.
"Are you alright, Yunho?" Seonghwa asked and dried his hands with the kitchen towel, sat down on a chair across from his son's. "The others already finished, and you sit here looking so serious already. Is everything okay?"
Yunho took a moment to think, then shrugged his shoulders before he continued his cereal. "I don't know, I'm a little stressed these days because of all the practice hours... I'm a little nervous about the position I'm supposed to fill in."
Relief relaxed the parent's face as he breathed out a sigh. Seonghwa reached for his son's hand, "you're going to do great, I'm sure of that. You can still decline if you don't feel ready, don't forget that."
"I know, that's not it... " he replied and put away the spoon. For a moment he debated if he should indirectly tell his father about that mysterious conversation he had had – or not, who knew at this point – with Mingi. "... has Mingi been acting a little weird these days?"
"Mingi?" Seonghwa questioned, "why would you think that?" Instinctively tilting his head a little, Seonghwa went into his thoughts, tried to find anything unusual he had noticed. He was very attentive, yet he couldn't think of one thing that may be considered a little out of character of his middle child. "Has he been different to you?"
Again, Yunho shrugged his shoulders and looked back into his bowl. The cookies weren't circling in his bowl anymore, he noticed."I don't really know why I even said that," he wove off dryly. "I don't know... hehasn't been as clingy as he usually is, maybe he's just growing into other habits."
-
Hey peopleee
Ahaha here I am😀
I am first of all very sorry for the lack of updates. I really tried but well, things just didn't go as I hoped they would.
A quick life update:
✨Everything is just falling apart✨
Due to that and the fact that I will start 11th grade soon, I can't promise constant updates.
(and as I have seen myself in the past every time I say that I write like two chaps a day pls💀)
Ah yes, yet i want those of you who may have been wondering to be no longer concerned in any way, this fic is not done and I am here for as much as I can!
And the fact that whenever I really need something to hold on to ateez has a comeback is just- :')
Anyway,
Stay healthy and safe,
and vote deja vu
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